December 2022 Flow - 12/23/22 - "My Line In The Sand"

“I draw my line in the sand, this is where I intend to stand. And that’s my plan.”
– E Town Concrete “Battle Lines”

…..

12/23/22

We, as men, we must have our lines in the sand in life.

We accept this. We will not accept that.

2022 held a lot of pain for me.

A large part due to my crossing of my own lines repeatedly.

•I masturbated.
•I watched porn.

•I accepted being treated like shit.

Whether you’re getting shit or silver, you’re manifesting your desires from the universe.

Look inward. The answer is there.
Always was. Always will be.

“Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” – Luke 17:21 KJV

I’m just a sinner, yet made in God’s image.
He, Grandfather, myself, my future children – expect more of me.

Inward. Driven. A Line. Guts.

…..

Nature is beautiful, and yet the scariest thing in existence.

A wind storm is one thing, in it you’re hearing god’s wrath against the walls – I can only imagine what a tornado is like to experience.

An old dead tree came down, but didn’t take anything out this time.

The scariest, and yet also most impressive thing I’ve experienced was a fall hail storm, close to dark – the sky briefly blood red blurred by ice cube like precipitation, on a nebraska highway.

I was very happy to park my car for the night, then walked to a nearby gas station to get a half gallon of milk for the night.
I remember that detail. Milk is a big reoccurrence in my life.

The power out is forcing a bit of a fast.
Never open the fridge. Besides I’ve no way to cook without electricity anyway.

Crackers? I’ll just fast til whenever.
Though I had extended an invite to go out to eat which was turned down, nor do I particularly feel like going by myself to get a meatball sub and an iced coffee.

I like iced coffee, but have no tolerance for caffeine. It’s too late in the day, though that’s for the most part any time of day for me. :)-

…..

It’s funny that “gains” is made out to be some difficult thing.

It doesn’t take long – beginner gains get you most of the way there.

And then you never stop.

They’ll always stay with you.

Online they act like one missed workout/one workout too many, or one off diet meal/skipped meal is gonna ruin everything.

Good luck with that.

Even the homeless aren’t starving themselves weak.

A bunch of those dudes look like reasonably fit, if old, light heavyweights.

Humanity isn’t soft.

I’m doing pretty well on intermittent fasting where half of my meals end up being pizza.

…..

I sit outside for hours, all weather.

Most find this odd, and I have been ribbed about it many times.

That doesn’t bother me, just as the weather does not bother me, but is an enjoyment.

…..

The steak, ½lb leftovers still was around medium having been reheated (this kept autocorrecting to redhead) – I put relish on it, the relish I believe intended to be a little hot, but I have pretty high tolerance to that sort of thing unlike caffeine.

I can make a steak far better than any chain restaurant.

And it’s a quarter of the cost with healthier ingredients.