Try Your Hand At Em

I find myself lifting on a day pass at this little hole in the wall gym…

(Same as last year.)

It has some implements.

Most I’ve had access to, but there’s a stupid sized circus dumbbell (I couldn’t do shit with it), and…kegs.

One is unmarked and light, one 200lbs, and a third 250lbs.

200lbs is what I go for.

Quickly I discovered I don’t know how to get it into position to attempt to press it, instead I do a few attempts close to shouldering it.

On the 3rd or 4th attempt I kinda do, but didn’t have the control to release my left hand.

The next attempt I amp up, breathe angrily, and jerk it off the ground a little before pulling it with all I’ve got, and with a second heave I had it on the shoulder.

The next one I did on camera. I knew I’d hit it again, but didn’t tap into the primal rage I had on the rep prior. It wasn’t as easy, nor as “clean” a rep.

It’s good policy to ALWAYS try your hand at strongman implements or any odd objects that happen to present themselves to you.

The keg had been sitting there minding it’s own business, and I took it for a ride.

Odd objects are simply things not designed to be lifted like a barbell, they just build and show a more rugged strength.

I’m slightly annoyed that I didn’t go for the 250lber.

Neck Strength = Vitality

No muscle group when activated brings about the feeling of aliveness that is brought about by a well worked neck.

In a pinch hand self resisted isometrics will do, but this while building significant strength does add tension at rest over time. You can neck isometric your way to migraines if this is what you train daily for too many days in a row.

(Neck harness can cause similar. I’ve come to like it best as a feat of strength, and not as a builder of strength. I prefer the wrestler and yoga style neck work.)

It’s better to more regularly do variants with more range of motion, and/or that build looseness for longevity reasons.

I prefer the following as neck work staple, and neck work SHOULD be a staple :

Throw a pillow or towel on the floor, and from your knees do front neck bridge variants ; front to back, “around the world” (rotating 360° each direction), and side to side. For these the forehead is the main point of contact.

After enough reps have been done (do the right amount, use your own judgement) place your hands on the floor, and kick up into a headstand. Hold it for awhile.

(I usually count to 250 or 300, which while counting under load isn’t nearly as long as one would expect. Range is 100 count to 500 count, with occasional timed sets to keep me honest about time held.)

Nothing keeps the neck healthy, mobile, and strong (while building size) like this simple floor based neck routine.

The feeling immediately afterwards is glorious…you feel vigorous, full of vitality, and deeply primal.

If you’re currently doing neck work give this a shot. If you’re not currently doing neck work start…by giving this a shot, and making it habit.

I can tell you this ; the headstand has likely kept me alive, and that front bridge work from the knees is great “feel the muscle” type work especially for shoring up the gaps in strength left by the headstand, and accelerating hypertrophy.

-J

10/14/18 Physical Performance Dream

This time it was deadlifts…again.

The gym I was at only had machines and ez curl bars.

Must’ve been longer than the normal ez curl bars as I pulled my top sets in a sumo, though very narrow sumo stance.

50×365 nearer to pausing than touch and go. A large portion of the dream was spent trying to find plates to make 405 for another set.

I’d done two at 365, again bad math had struck, and I noticed that the dude saying he’d loaded it didn’t.

Still 30, then 50 reps at 365 is awesome endurance.

More impressively it was all double overhand.

It might be a sign that I should be bodybuilding with sumo stance deadlifts. In real life I’m training almost naught but back and legs.

-J

Curl Strength From Back Work & Tire Flipping

Since this video in February of 2017 I can likely count on a few hands (my hands and one or two others hands) how many times I’ve done curls in just about any capacity…

There was a couple weeks of daily curling, a short feeder run, and occasionally testing if I could hit a 135 strict curl.

I’ve only been able to curl 135 on one to three occasions since that video…

Today (10/14/18) I got the urge to try, and hit singles at 95, 115, and 135 late in a high volume back workout.

I got 155 to the 90° sticking point, lowered it, and got it with the smallest amount of momentum with a “cheat” curl. Based off of the 135lb rep I thought I’d have a good shot at a strict 185lh curl.

(Also backed off with an easy 5×115, I think curls are meant to be 5rm-8rm.)

I’ve written before on “contrarian arm training” ie just letting compound movements get your arms stronger.

Presses for triceps, tire flips, and likely underhand rowing for biceps.

My curl is up (and my pullups easily maintained at 5 reps) from a steady training regimen of mostly hang cleans, a goodly volume of bent rows, and tire flips to end every session be it 2x or 7x weekly.

Sets of 5-8 on barbell curls feels very old school. I’m thinking if non-specific work is doing this well, a bit of curling will push me quickly up to repping a plate, and hitting 185.

Today showed me I have serious potential to “win the gym” at curling…the gym thing I’ve near wholly neglected over the years.

Aside : “Win the gym” – I was told by this petite college chick that I win the gym at flipping the tire. Expanding on the concept I generally win the gym at anything involving putting a barbell overhead, oly variants, and likely soon to be barbell curls. Fat bar stuff is my forte, there’s no argument I win the gym there, and cold lifting is where I not only win the gym, but rub loser faces in it as I’m so many levels above them it’s sad…for them.

A lot of old timers had seriously heavy max curls, maybe it is ok to train arms…as long as you’re progressively getting bigger and better 1rm-8rm.

-J

Just Work In

(I wrote this a long time ago, but the other day seeing a bodybuilder sitting on the benches for 20 minutes wearing straps and staring at all the in use lat pulldown machines reminded me of this draft which I recall having initially wrote after offering the work in to a mean mugging bodybuilder chick. Enjoy.)

It baffles me how rare it is for people to work in with each other.

Whether it’s someone who’d rather stare at you and their wanted piece of equipment instead of speaking up, or the people who react hostilely and say no to the requests (do they own the gym?), the shit baffles me.

In reality you could fit at least a half dozen at any machine at the same time. Your rest periods generally allow for that many. Supersetting? They’re in and out while you’re at the other exerise. Even different attachments and settings are simple enough to work around.

Now squat racks can get tricky. Unrack height is a big deal. However I’ve worked in with some girl (actually 2 or 3 times, different chicks, multiple gyms) probably 4 inches shorter than me, one because I wanted to finish exercising and both racks were taken, and two I’m ok with low unrack heights. In fact I’m more comfortable with and used to the lower unracks.

Machines? I once waited about 5 minutes, saw the 2 only talking, asked to work in, NO, okay waited a few more minutes, one set in that time span, and during their next long rest period worked in. One didn’t give a shit, the other held a grudge for like 8 months and refused to do his last set with me around. The funny part is, my set easily fit into their rest periods see how 99% of the time the rest period allows for anyone wanting to to work in.

I’ll offer the work in, colloquially “just work in dude” when I catch the people mean mugging from a short distance when that machine (or all of that machine) is taken.

It will be a gym policy of mine and I’ll likely have it spray painted in giant letters on my gym walls “Just Work In”. I don’t care for the money enough to pander to shitheads and assholes.

I’d rather build either an uninviting ghetto gym or a place truly with a friendly atmosphere. The middle grounds of gyms are where the bullshit occurs. And true story: there’s nothing like your spotter making drug deals on his bluetooth as he spots you, occasionally baffling the other side of the line by yelling such things as “all you”. I’m dead serious about this too. I liked that gym. A dirty locker room, oddly stocked with tp, the floors sticky to the touch of your barefeet, a clientele that was (at least on the male end) 50% felons, plenty of weights and squat racks, terrible benches, and the cost $10 a month.

I’d trade most gyms for that one, though I’ve also lifted at better.

-J

 

30 Pullups With Some Muscle Ups Thrown In : A Gym Dream

Wow! Another awesome physical performance…in a dream.

A few years back it was something like 100 pullups off of a cage in prison like I’d seen in some Jason Statham movie.

Last night I was doing pullups a few stories up off of some military obstacle course apparatus. A set of 30, and in it I looked similar in size, only slightly leaner. I was counting it, breaking it up into multiple sets of 5, and was in disbelief at how easy it was, how far I was going.
About 18 reps in I was pulling myself higher than nipples over the “bar” (technically beam due to it being a climbing tower), and at 25 reps in started doing muscle ups hitting them on the 26th, and 27th reps, failing the muscle up on rep 29, and finishing the 30 with another muscle up success.

I often have dreams where I do amazing things physically. It’s like my subconscious is showing me the possibilities that I truly hold physically.

Humans are meant to naturally perform awesome/have awesome physical abilities.

-J

Gym Dreams : Deadlifting 405x75ish Reps

Following in the tradition of dreams that I’ve had over the years involving awesome physical performance, yesterday I dreamt that I pulled 405 for about 75 reps.

As I was breaking into the 30s I thought “Who the fuck else can do this? Gym record at least.”

They were strict into the mid 40s, and after that it was soft lockout. The last ten or so were partials from floor to somewhere above the knees.

Even in a dream some fucker (dude about my age from the gym) took issue with the form involved.

“You didn’t lock those all out!”

“Mixed grip builds uneven development!”

“Where’s your belt! You’re asking for injury!”

Obviously like in real life I pulled it RAW, beltless, etc.

In a cloud of chalk dust I tried to explain how when pushing that hard “perfect” form is limiting, eventually giving up and with a metaphorical mic drop going “ok, your set, match that many reps with perfect form”.

A slew of excuses began to flow, when I noticed that I’d actually not loaded it to 405, bar weight was 365.

Damn it! I forgot to change plates after taking the bar over. Mentally I put in effort thinking 405 x infinity, I’d of had more reps had I realized the misload going in.

So it was 365x75ish.

and…I woke up needing to piss.

-J

Explosive Effort PR Music

It dawn’s on me that my first time cleaning 275 and broad jumping 8ft+ were both done with the same song in my headphones.

Lil Wyte’s “I Sho Will”.

Something about this wannabe gangsta ass anthem talking of a code wherein “if he actin like a bitch” one properly “treat him like a bitch” aids me considerably in explosive efforts.

Listening to this song results in instantaneous improvement of hip power, likely as you’re implanting in your brain the idea that you “sho will” “ beat him on the floor of the club“, and be willing to “jack him even if he dumb” cause “if he actin like a bitch” you are obliged by unwritten code to “treat him like a bitch“.

Fight mode.

Bum bum bum bum dah, bum bum bum bum dah! (I was going for typing out part of the beat.)

-J

P.S. And yesterday I broad jumped 8’9” or 9′ (estimate) very clearly getting over the rogue crash pad/mat/obstacle. 8′ pad + gap of roughly a shoe length.

Bum bum bum bum dah, bum bum bum bum dah!

 

The 80s Seen During The 2010s

As a high school underclassman I walked to school.

For more than a year I’d see him, he was like clockwork. I could base the time off his position.

I had a few metrics based on him to judge the time, when did I spot him?

Did I look over my shoulder as I passed that tree?

Did I see him a few houses in front of me?

That tree metric was almost perfect, if I was to check my watch the sighting had an accuracy to within 2 seconds every day.

Who am I talking about?

I’m talking about this guy that would bike by every morning on that same route, but unlike most on bikes it was at a blistering, breakneck speed.

Not quite 100% all out sprint, but close to it.

The pace had to have required serious lungs. The guy had huge anaerobic endurance.

How fast he went and how long he sustained it for (I never saw him slow down) was very impressive.

Hands down it was the most impressive biking cardio I’ve ever observed, and this includes seeing packs of regular training cyclists and triathletes.

The best part?

He was an 80s trailer trash throwback. A reverse time machine.

  • Long brown mullet? Check.
  • Couple day scruff? Check.
  • Cigarette hanging out  (always the right side) of his mouth? Check.
  • Stained wife beater, seemingly the same one daily? Check.
  • Very short cut off jean shorts, seemingly the same pair daily?  Check.
  • Highish socks? Check.
  • Work boots? Check.
  • Old regular bicycle? Check.

Every morning this 80s guy would blaze by on his near decrepit bike puffing that cigarette hanging out the right side of his mouth dressed in the same attire as I said above practically to the second.

I remember some of my first thoughts as I saw him being “holy shit, for a smoker he has cardio”, and “why is he sprinting while smoking, isn’t that contradictory?”

Funny shit.

Haven’t seen him biking in years.

-J

Barefoot On Real Ground

We as “civilized” people have grown too far from our roots in nature.

Our happiness is quite correlated to our being in touch with the natural,the primal, the animalistic.

Living in a city can easily get you down.

It may sound like total hokum, total malarkey, but i believe there is energy we are meant to feel, to absorb, to interact with, that we do not get when in 100% man made environments.

In essence we need “to get back to our roots”.

Call me crazy, but open your mind and give it a shot, tell me this doesn’t work.

Kick off your socks and shoes, and put your feet on real ground. Natural god made ground.

Being barefoot on natural substance has a grounding affect be it grass,dirt,sand, whatever.

The act itself centers you, and for a short moment (as hippie as this sounds) you are one with the Earth.

As you feel the damp moss (or sand) between your toes for a short while you forget the existence of the modern world.

No one thinks of the spiritual affect (aside from the physical benefits) that being barefoot can provide.

Go for a short walk in the woods sans shoes. You’d be surprised how out of touch and soft you’ve become.

It’s a depressing part of the concrete jungle that is a city: you can go months without feet touching something as natural as grass. Even five minutes on a small patch is better than nothing.

Being barefoot on grass instantly ups my mood.

However don’t limit yourself to being barefoot in warm weather. From time to time go barefoot in winter conditions (just not for a long period of time). It is quite childish, fun, and silly to do, yet even this year I ran about 100 yards down and back barefoot in the snow, finishing off by making snow angels and doing rolls in the snow going far past my buddies original dare for me to do the run portion barefoot.

This essay is related in some manner to my recent one on the lifting of weights outdoors.

Winter is in the air, and I’m feeling a call of the wild. Awhoo!

-J