You’re shaking. The view is great, but would be better closer.
You can feel the adrenaline dump, you’re already shaking bad, and the closer you get the worse it gets.
A little closer. “Good enough” you think, then “No it’s not”.
Closer you move and closer again.
You sit on your haunches on the edge, great view, shaking, fear.
You decide to victory pose. Slowly you stand from the deep squat, spread your arms, expanding you look to the heavens. Instantaneously you begin to shake harder,you begin to lose your balance, swaying forward….on the edge.
You step back.
“Good enough”, you say to yourself again, and yet again a moment later, “No its not”.
You go through the process again. It’s better this time, you don’t fuck about on your haunches, you step right up to the edge and stand.
The same again. Victory pose, look to the heavens, shake, and sway.
You begin combat breathing. You’ll fall off if you don’t contain the fear, the shaking.
At the edge, breathe, fight to control the fear.
Hold the victory pose, breathe.
At the moment you’re alive.
Ahh, I stood on the edge. I took a stand….and didn’t fall.
Stand strong, face the fear. We have one life. Live, risk, experience, conquer.
-J