A Place For My Thoughts On Lifting Y'All
You’re broken?
You’ve surrendered?
You don’t break!
You don’t surrender!
Jesus Christ! (I pray to God)
Every Man is meant to live fully, not stagger through an existence doped out, moped out, hazed out, inactive in all, in every which way.
Turn off your television!
Quit masturbating!
Social media isn’t socialising, speak in your day to day!
Life is yours to make.
True living.
Persistence & Tenacity
11/12/20
It’s been roughly one meal a day for about a week.
My training volume has been high, silly high at times.
It’s amazing how much a human is capable of.
Yesterday (veteran’s day) in what was basically a double session back to back, first from 6-8pm, then again from 9-11pm, I hit PR after PR, big numbers after big numbers.
I slept 3 to 3½ hours, trained again (easy session mind you), and was energetic all day.
I was pretty ravenous by the time I got home from the gym.
Now when you eat three squares a day, plus snack, you don’t understand the value of food.
Fasting teaches you.
You learn you can run without food on iv drip, and come to savor that evening meal.
I had been lazy, steaming two cups of rice, reading & writing while it cooked, then frying up chopped up hot dogs (the closest to use by date meat I had on hand) then feasting on it, and the portion of fried rice.
I don’t like hot dogs except when in a bun with a fixin. Normally.
When those eight hotdogs, a cup of rice (dry weight), some cheese, and two cups of both chocolate milk and apple cider is all you’re gonna get til tomorrow night…
Oh man do those franks taste good.
As you eat you’re thankful for every morsel, liking how putting weight overhead is getting easier and easier with the frequent training, and liking how you’re looking more muscular and leaner each and every day.
Earn your food – by physicality and fasting.
Persistence & Tenacity
9/16/20
Negativity, negativity, blah blah blah. My day got better, it’s all in the mind. It’s not like life is bad.
To illustrate :
As I was driving I slowed down, seeing from a distance what looked like an Amish women standing on the side of the road looking to cross.
I slow down, do the waving you across motion to her. The landscaping truck going the other way seeing me stop also stops…
It’s not an Amish girl (probably Mennonite regionally if we’re to be accurate), it’s a nun. Kinda similar attire. Not ancient by a mile, probably mid 30s, but looked younger because…
She smiled and I thought instantaneously “she looks like a very happy person” then “there’s truth to good thoughts showing through on your body*”
*body, face, your entire physique, vibe, aura, carriage, posture, and what have you – your very being.
Noteworthy, at three separate crosswalks everyone acknowledged that I stopped :
•high school guy nodded and threw a peace sign in acknowledgement (I walked away unscathed having been hit by a car at this very crosswalk – that’s a story in and of itself)
•early 30s redhead smiled and waved then continued running at a decent run, not jog pace
•nun in crummy part of town, smiles like a beam of sunlight, hand raised in acknowledgement.
There’s truth in your thoughts will show through.
Think good thoughts, not only are you, but the world is better for it.
The car and crosswalks kicked me back into a good proper mood.
I had a couple good conversations after, pet some friendly pitbulls, and was offered some yard grown fruit, which I gladly accepted. You can’t turn down homegrown fruit. Even went for a walk.
-J
Have you tried not masturbating?
I’ve went 40 days, almost edging too far twice, and my body ridding itself of some ejaculate as I took a shit twice, once just over three weeks in, and on day 40 (where I almost edged too far).
The ancients were right to be strongly against masturbation.
Having implemented this behavioral change I’ve learned some things.
Firstly clinging to your wanker status clouds you to the negatives of what is truly a negative addictive behavior.
It’s not just porn that clouds life, so does masturbation.
You see more opportunity, more beauty without both.
Participating in one or the other really brings a haze over life, and you won’t see it till you’re honest with yourself, and then moreso once you’ve went three weeks or longer without them.
I’ve been porn free for more than a year, yesterday was 40 days without jerking off, the longest as far as I know I’ve went since I first jerked off a bit over a decade ago.
Summer 2019 I went a bit more than 30 days on more than one occasion, and frankly magic was happening.
I’ve chosen, just like I’m porn free for life to be done with jerking off entirely.
Deciding 40 days to be the write up landmark as per biblical connotation.
I’m no wanker.
Not anymore.
16-26 (just under 10½ years)
Did that shit for far too long.
I’ve grown up past it.
Where I’m different than most young men is : I don’t care all that much whether I am getting laid or not.
However, either way, I sure as hell am not wasting my seed getting off with my own hand.
Both watching porn and wanking, together or separately, are to the subconscious an admission of “not good enough for women”.
You get two big steps up in vibe, posture, charisma, eye contact, confidence ;
Huge all around confidence boosts from masculinity as intended by not doing either.
Testosterone issues or dick not working right?
Stop jerking off to porn.
No self confidence, no self worth?
Stop jerking off and do better things with your time than watch porn.
These two things can be and are for many step 1 in building masculinity 101.
You’re a Man without them.
Interestingly enough free of both not only is your charisma and confidence much higher, you are more easily turned on, have more of a happy contentment, and are able as said above able to see more beauty in the world.
This applies to everything from noticing nature that you used to ignore, to seemingly having ridiculously high appearance standards evaporate.
More “plain Jane” types will become attractive enough in some way in your eyes, you can see past the physical flaws for the physical features.
Every teenage boy jerking off for the first time is trading momentary pleasure for lengthy period of pain.
Having started I missed out on a lot.
Without wanking I’d likely be married to the petite freckled blonde from english class, have a bunch of kids, and be active duty military right now.
I clouded opportunity.
Masturbation was a huge reoccurring act of self harm when I reflect honestly upon my mistakes.
I’m glad now to have the freedom that comes with my oath to self.
I see/feel/perceive hope, opportunity, a happy future.
Notably 40 days has been long enough to have minimized the urge to the point I laugh at it, knowing there will always be a woman in my life when getting off is truly necessary.
Brother, if you’re in it, I’m pulling for you. I pray God assist you on your path of becoming masculinity as intended.
Persistence & Tenacity
Fasting is no hindrance to a good workout.
While you may get really stupid from all the effort while “empty”, you’re still completely capable of being very physical.
I wrestled. I’ve worked labor. It’s easy for me to push in the gym because I know how one can dig deep past dehydration, past an empty stomach, past whatever, and just keep going.
It’s actually a cool challenge to in that state maintain being fully mentally there.
Smoke yourself, but stay smart.
Be able to answer questions during a momentary rest.
And keep going.
Yeah empty makes you instinctive, but it’s superhuman to have the instincts turned on AND to still be completely able to think, rationalize, answer, etc.
It’s very applicable to the military, and frankly when you think the gym is hard remember this – somewhere in history a soldier has went through 1000x rougher a situation.
Quit complaining. Be a warrior.
Your world is only as soft as you allow it to be.
Go fast. Go train.
Go find out what you are truly capable of.
Right now you’re underestimating yourself, and underachieving.
Go far further! Get far more!
Get it!
Persistence & Tenacity
Watching television is no way to live!
Click. The screen flashes, as the blending of colors quickly puts you into a trance.
In 5 or 6 hours you Click. Turn it off, and go lay down to another fitfull night’s “rest”.
You’ve done nothing to earn the rest.
Moments later :
Bring bring.
It starts again.
You wander to the bathroom in a daze, forcing a shit quickly, then stagger to the kitchen to slop down some cereal.
Drive. Job. Drive.
Click. The colors meld, and in a haze – five hours gone Click.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
That’s not living!
You keep up repeating that day, and suddenly a lifetime has slipped away.
•Pace
•Stomach hit
•Toe touch
•Down
•Wait for weight
•Pushup
•PR
•A few burpees
•Final burpee : jump, land, double stomach hit, equipment free pull apart, turn around, angry breath, come down
11/11/20
Starting from the bottom I went up to a weighted pushup with +200lbs.
My buddy, 150lbs, standing on my upper back while holding a pair of 25lb plates.
(Doubling him alone the other day.)
I did 8 progressively heavier sets to get to the +200lbs before going back down to +him alone.
I now view +150 as easy. It’s no challenge, it’s just a pushup.
The last couple sets I was amping up for, I’d pace shortly then do a burpee to the bottom, where he’d step on, and GO!
I went somewhere.
Not wanting to say a word, my self talk nothing but saying how I’ll power through it.
I’d doubled him holding 30lbs. A single with him +40.
He’s asking me if I can do more, he doesn’t want me to.
“You’re just holding weights, it’ll be fine.”
That california prison style of burpee, the one I picked up from youtube, I’ve trained myself to be able to flip a switch with it.
Burpee, Click!
The peripherals are in red. I’m stronger. There is only the effort.
Jump, Double Hit, Arms Apart, Turn Around, Breathe, Click. Normal
(j vengeance rise and grind)
I ran the numbers, the double with +180 is the equivalent of a 2x349lb bench.
The +200 weighted pushup equaling bench 369lbs.
.65×260=169
169+200=369
Recently I’ve been getting better and better at going somewhere, then hitting big PRs.
In the session I also did some good high rep sets on the leg press, see saw press, dumbbell bench, and hit 9 pullups.
Very strong session. I have a switch. In general when I train – I’m there.
Amazing self talk.
18 months minus lockdown at planet fitness, over two years without hitting a single bench rep, I’m good for a 365lb bench if not 405+.
I know I can clean and press a pair of 100lb dumbbells. I can be a 500lb bencher if I choose to pursue it.
Click!
Persistence & Tenacity
There is a direct correlation between how much good you have going for you in life, and how little television you watch.
There is also a direct correlation between how crappy your life is, and how much television you watch.
The people who have stuff going for them don’t have time for television, and they don’t miss it.
They can’t recall when they last turned it on.
Losers watch plenty of television, yet can’t find the time to take the action to do any good things for themselves.
THEY don’t see how the statistical average of 28 hours a week negatively affects them.
It’s the tv!
They “need” it.
More than they need sleep!
Vicarious living = loserdom.
(It’s unlikely that you’re using specific scenes to brainwash yourself to power. Cold turkey is the better approach for the majority.)
What if you watched zero?
From birth – that’s wishful thinking, maybe the next generation.
What if you watched zero from here on out?
Look at all that time.
Hope, Possibility, Future
Robert Heinlein’s book “Stranger In A Strange Land” has the concept of thinking yourself fit in it.
Having first read the book as a teenager that scene stuck with me nearly word for word, years later to very much weave itself into my training philosophy.
The tall fit blue eyed brunette who had went from 240 to a smoke show 160, when she told me her story she spoke a lot of “then I thought I can do better than this” starting at jogging and crunches and progressing to running a couple miles every morning (5-6x week) at a fast pace and becoming addicted to heavy squats, lots of lunges, leg/glute training in general going hard at them every day after work (5x week).
It was noticable in her telling the story how at each progressive step of the way she said she had thought “then I thought I can do better than this”, and had the epiphany three or four times over a year and a half of going from obese to extremely attractive by the time I met her.
It was extremely noteworthy that she’d do research, but never seemed to have come across anything speaking of limits.
She had just kept thinking “I can do better than this” til she found that she enjoyed running miles for time, and squatting heavy.
I remember that she was lifting heavy weights for a girl, squats and deadlifts at least 225+ for reps, and her mile PR/PB was mind blowing to me, competitive track fast, better than the large majority of both sexes will ever do, and she was built like a heavier, wider hipped volleyball player not a miler.
The girl just hadn’t taken in preconceived limits, and therefore was doing very well physically.
Most don’t ever combine her level of squatting and running.
She hadn’t taken in anything on that note as limit.
I’ve met a woman who at first glance you think “anorexic”, and then at second glance you think “used to be”.
I’ve seen this woman squat more than double bodyweight. She pulls a similar number to her squat. She’s a woman who benches more than she weighs. I don’t recall her exact military press, but I recall it being up there, around bodyweight.
(I’ve also seen a college age bodybuilder/crossfit chick rep out strict pullups and press around bodyweight.)
Her story as far as I know is “I used to be anorexic, then one day I stopped and thought I’m sick of being sick”.
She like the aforementioned tall brunette kept progressing to higher and higher performance levels either without accepting the limitations she either read and ignored, or like the brunette hadn’t come across in her research.
There’s some publication floating around the internet of natty muscle building limits. It claims to know how much lean body mass is the limit one can put on without steroids.
Myself and my buddy both force fed past this supposed lean body mass number as teenagers in high school.
A natty can have more lean body mass than military weight regulations. I’d know, I’ve been walking around like this for years.
Everytime someone says there’s a limit to the muscle you can put on ask them just how much muscle is under that fat on a sumo wrestler.
It’s extremely high amounts!
You can think yourself fit.
Just decide how you’re becoming.
You can add to that process with training and/or diet.
It’s not necessary, though that’s based on belief.
Belief is why I stress turning off the brain in the gym.
Overthinking causes over acceptance of limitations.
Off the top of my head I just rattled off a few examples of girls I’ve come across who’s physical abilities blow everyone, guys included, out of the water.
Don’t accept a limitation, and do your best to not hear of it in the first place.
Prime physical performance is readily available. It’s there for the taking.
Persistence & Tenacity
In 2017 I didn’t watch porn.
See, I view porn as a problem, always will, really always did.
March something 2018 I caved, I watched. I’d cave here and there til October 21, 2019. This is my 1 year clean post, the time stamp, 316am, the first clean minute over the full year as I turned it off for good on 10/21/19 at 315am.
I have a trick I’d never seen online…
I grow a solid red beard.
Since 16/17 I’ve preferred to have a beard.
A bit after that initial cave, I came up with this.
I looked and felt like a bum, knew I’d caved to watching porn, and had just took a shot with this pretty freckled chick (who always smiled at me) simply asking if she had a boyfriend during a brief conversation as we passed by each other ; one of us leaving, the other arriving.
I recall going over to my buddy’s and talking, just talking. His giant 6’6″ ass has a calming effect on me.
At some point in that few day period I shaved, an act of discipline. If I was to do something childish/immature (watch porn, I know better), I didn’t deserve to have facial hair like an adult does.
A Man doesn’t watch porn. A boy may. I made myself look like a boy as discipline if I watched porn.
Initially it was after porn I had to shave, it evolved into me requiring myself to shave 24hrs or more after I turned the shit off to symbolize starting a new age, with a new day.
I’d always write against watching. Sometimes punishment writing, sometimes an essay of thoughts. Near my bed is a handwritten paper “The Final Time I Watched Porn” signed at the bottom in oath.
See, self discipline is incredibly important.
It ties into my soul.
If I watch porn I have to shave, the same as I have to do my pushups.
I made this habit.
The stuff ties into my soul.
A compulsion of the soul.
If you’re having a hard time quitting porn, brother I know the feeling.
Maybe you’ve swore to yourself…I did, and I’ve caved a few dozen times since.
There was a time I even told a friend I’d commit seppaku if porn consumption continued, only to days later watch a scene where the girl in it looked earily similar to a chick I knew at the time.
I’m not proud of that.
The trick is discipline.
I don’t like having to shave. I shaved every time I caved. I no longer cave.
Our sissy society claims that punishment doesn’t work.
Fuck yeah it works!
You watch porn? Looking for inner strength to never cave? Find a strong deterrent, find yourself a punishment that’ll make the con outweigh any pro to you, and use it to discipline yourself without exception if necessary.
The punishment has kept me from caving many a time.
I’ll say “not today” and fucking make it til the next day, if I watch the next day I’m writing and shaving, and I’m not shaving for that shit again.
Fuck yeah!
You know that you’re a Man, when one night you’re so close to caving, don’t quit, and wake up the next morning feeling on top of the world as you stayed true to yourself, strong.
Strong.
Never braking your own principles.
-J
(Written far in advance, probably 10 months early as commitment to self, then touched up as a method of reaffirmation multiple times to hold strong. I’ve made the year – this statement too written with over a month to go.
Getting within the last month to make the year, the urge is gone. I have no desire any longer to watch porn. The rarity I think about doing so is easily identified as boredom, laughed at, ignored, and moved past.
Saying no to porn is far more manly than watching digital cuckoldry.
Embrace your masculinity, build a manly mindset, and porn will have no draw.
And know this ; your saying no to porn is for far more than just the self.)