10/28/22
Ain’t no reason I won’t thrive as a “weekend warrior”.
The connotation gets unnecessary negativity. A Man training seriously once a week on the weekend will do just fine.
A once weekly serious lift ISN’T the entirety of your physical activity. Viewing the gym as your only physical activity is a mistake, there’s a whole world, and a whole life for physicality.
There’s daily PT!
It may not be the quickest strength increases, but once a week consistently over a decade is going to beat high frequency for a year or two, which then quits entirely.
I realize a 225lb press is nothing.
With my current plates, I expect to power clean (or heave) and press, if it was a regular gym setup with regular gym math I’d expect 365lbs, but with this setup 335lbs, a pair of 100s, a pair of 45s.
Anywhere in that 335-365lb range.
gym math 🙂 shrugs
Keep it simple.
lift til THIS happens as your “norm”
It’s so few pushups now, not keeping track of daily reps. Around half as many deep knee bends.
If I stay awhile longer at this job, I may starve myself whippet lean. It’s amazing how little I eat on the days spent in the kitchen!
The calorie burn must be at least moderately high standing there sweating.
Combined with not eating, a bit of daily PT, and we’ve got muscle sticking to the frame on WEIGHT LOSS DAY!
I’ve continued to train the mace briefly every night after work. A year of doing so has made it real easy to continue – I wasn’t thinking about stopping.
From the longer, lighter, thinner one, I switched to the shorter, thicker, heavier tree branch.
So far this means harder work for the fingers, while the whole thing is more movement than muscle – it’s pretty heavy, therefore I’m just getting the rotation not yet focusing on feeling the muscles work.
A man could do little else but serious grip work, and thrive!
Do your pushups.
Do your deep knee bends.
Do your neck work.
Do a bit more, squeeze your hands, get your head out of your ass (the gym), and win the physical game in life.
I’d rather a rope in a tree and 300lbs of sand in a duffle bag than a gym membership.
10/26/22
Reverse breathing, out on the down, in on the up, it’s pretty counter to what is the norm.
I’ve been doing so with deep knee bends awhile, and the past couple days started up with the same on pushups.
I stopped counting, reps per calisthenic set of daily PT is by feel now, I broke that compulsion, fuck it.
I’ll just always get a few brief sets in to satisfy the “did I really do it” thoughts.
With this manner of breathing you’re always able to do one more rep, and man do you sound like a freight train coming!
…..
Con o sin pulpo?
Con, with! It’s a sin to be without,
flabbergasting that oj is even to be found any other way.
Oj with pulp mixes well with raw eggs – oj ala rocky, not that I’m doing so right now, I’ve just been enjoying oj a lot recently.
It’s not so bad to have a menu of milk, meat, vegetables, and fruit juice.
A lot of play there, all nutritious ingredients, the next step may be “get hint of abs lean”.
I’m not far from that, and it’d be a good walk around point.
…..
I’d forgotten how good pullovers on the total gym feel.
This barbell layoff period is going to be an interesting body builder.
I’m getting more into using the total gym, a great upper body machine should you have access, while the reverse manner of breathing is making pushups and deep knee bends new to me again, and how much it is that I enjoy neck work at present!
No gym.
Just bodyweight and an infomercial device for the most part, a definite desire to occasionally press and snatch on the barbell (keeping it crisp, never straining – up the #s that way with explosion every rep), and a 50/50 on whether I’ll rebuild a heavy sandbag for shouldering.
10/25/22
I don’t care anymore, and because of this – I thrive.
A year has been spent military pressing outside.
A little pointed focus and finally I got to a 225+ military press.
As I currently lay off from the weights, a first for me to do by choice as my history is long on compulsion to lift, I expect when I go back to run a bent row centric period.
A bent row centric period is back building, my upper back development being to me a narcissistic joy, and the building of a more stable base for launching the press skywards.
After the period of bent rows would be a pressing period again, a drive to 255, from a point that has more than likely not back slid from the recent PR of 230.
Bent row feeds into the clean, the clean the more challenging aspect for me of the press, considering that I press many reps from just one light heave or clean per set.
…..
After every shift of a dead end job, one I approached the other day with a laugh and a “damn is this shit simple – never a reason to stress”, I have swung tree branches like a mace.
That was the year’s temporarily rigid PT requirement.
“If I am not going to the gym after work I will swing this tree branch mace without exception!”
An interesting builder of hands, back, and biceps it is – I intend to keep doing it, and am now mixing in work with the heavier of the two branches.
…..
While I am on what is nearly a 6½ year active streak of daily pushups, I broke a compulsion to have to do 100+ “reps” each day.
Like lifting, all these rigidities, I have pointedly looked to, and done, break the compulsion – the past couple months.
Years of “woody woodpeckers”… right now I’m doing strict nose to floor pushups.
No rep count requirement, just good sets while feeling with my very being how this builds me up.
My upper back looks great.
My only aesthetic concern truly a performance thing – I have implemented neck bridging for a thicker, sexier, stronger, more manly neck.
I’d say my #1 movement right now, moreso than pushups as my minimalistic fall back option, is the old school deep knee bend.
Take the arm motion out of the hindu squat!
I hold my fists against my chin in a peek-a-boo guard, and pointedly reverse breathe…out as I go down, in as I rise – with power, this breathing pattern very much the makings of a human piston powering through the movement pattern.
There’s value to having visualization and/or thoughts of “power”, “brute strength”, and related as you actually do the thing.
Not to exercise mindlessly, but to be focused on the result of what you are doing as you do it.
With deep knee bends I want to smash through 100+ reps quickly, each rep the picture of power, yet the legs too well enduring.
That’s up on the “video in a few months” queue.
Might as well do some outdoors in winter training videos.
…..
I have done very few pullups this year, while dreams of pullup ability have been a regular occurrence.
Very likely a hint.
this sketch strikes me as very sensual
…..
Ironically (considering the above written hours earlier, of being on a lifting layoff), after a full two weeks off, after yesterday on a whim surprising myself with a wall handstand pushup, today having listened to a track I usually PR to – I got amped up, dropped what I was doing, then pressed and snatched.
A light rain, very high humidity, singing along (in this case terribly) to the headphones between the few sets :
Press
5×185
2×205
Snatch
1×135
1×155
An abbreviated yard weightlifting session, enough to remember why I lift…
BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL FUCKING PHENOMENAL
Got a lat and bicep pump actually, good form on cleans oddly, when I snatch I do so well within my limits but still account the bicep pump to the movement – I’m sure I’m arm pulling.
…..
Weightlifting Related :
Warming up into it does let you lift heavier and smoother.
The thing is, by skipping the warm ups you have a thumb on, accurately, what you are always capable of.
It amuses me much how pressing 185lbs is baked in – has been for years.
At a no longer open gym I regularly would press the 185lb rogue yoke on my way in and out – makes me desire having a yard yoke for this exact purpose, in passing, high frequency, displays of “I am stronger than you.”
Likely good for it should I actually warm up into it, I will be pleased when I finally press 10×185 in this no warm up manner.
More pleased when 10×225 no warm up is my walk around, more especially if it be done on a thick handled axle.
…..
axles > barbells
There is nothing to be said otherwise.
I was fond of the thompson squat bar at 65 or 75lbs, thicker than a regular barbell.
The thickness of bar often a plus to smith machines as well, the smith machine, gasp, being a better bench than a barbell bench in three out of four categories.
…..
This physical stuff is so simple, it’s not worth obsessing over (good luck), nor at present worth putting more than 10 or 15 minutes a day towards.
Smash into the high reps like a piston on deep knee bends.
Strict pushup doing as many strict nose to floor as you can.
Do some neck bridging.
You’ve got a few minutes of daily PT right there, while it’s the honest effort into the simple thing that carries you.
Lift when the mood is there, staying within your means, every so often increasing the numbers.
Without pullup bar access (weighted on a playground maybe), occasionally do total gym pullups like the pushups or deep knee bends.
Dive into simple, a 300lb sandbag takes a reinvestment of maybe $15, and travels well – with it you’ve got shouldering, and at least the option to include training partners when lifting at public parks.
Training partners which, like fit chicks as well, seems hard to come by right now GOD DAMN IT! :)-
…..
Daily exercise is worth doing solely for the mood elevation.
Your legs always a tad muscularly sore from a deep knee bend habit, makes any and all bullshit out to no sweat off your back.
…..
There’s no reason I can’t open my own gym, fill it with good people, and have a blast every day in every way.
Build up a good culture in the place, be the owner/management to therefore dodge that hassle, and just get wicked strong, playing around, while paid, and able to teach in person – where it helps the most.
10/16/22
I went to evening service, after the service spoke with the pastor for the first time in about 11 months.
I hadn’t went there in 10½, nor had a conversation like this in 11½ months.
Spoke openly – a parking lot confessional of all the pain I’ve felt the past year, the falling off the wagon into sin, the going reclusive – hiding away in my bedroom from the world, continuing to show up to a dead end job, having slept too many days away.
The shit I did to myself.
I knew at some point I’d be back on track, and that I’d have this conversation with him in the parking lot after evening service.
Now rising.
…
See, you only harm yourself by participating in the vices.
No matter where you are, go to bed, read, do some pushups, take a walk, whatever the positive action is that gets you back on to the right track.
I’m never watching porn again.
Not hard not to.
The prerequisites to it are sin, the watching nfl football, the endless television programming and advertisements – I make the hard drug a non-issue by not participating in the gateway drugs.
(Note to self : statements, not “I thinks”, or often questions. Statements.)
Don’t watch ufc, punch a bag yourself, join a boxing, mma, or bjj place yourself.
Life is about participation.
Spectation is sin.
It’s an easy guideline to live by.
Don’t watch. Participate.
Otherwise the years just slip away.
Done too much of that.
…..
Commit.
…..
Believe in yourself, in your value as a good person, a good human being.
Smile.
If it’s out of your control, shrug your shoulders – move on.
It’s not any external opinion of you.
It’s your internal opinion of yourself.
Every day run your day a little better than the last.
Dude, it was a huge step having learnt to forgive yourself.
Minimize compulsions – build up the ones that work for you, while minimizing those that don’t.
You’re not a meathead. You’re you.
THE YOU WHO CHARGED THE PITBULL THAT DAY
You PT, you don’t workout.
You’re smashing the bridges, deep knee bends, and pushups before going to make a little money for a reason.
…..
(all tenses, past, present, future) Implement the following, live it, let it be your entire being ;
The answer is to live fearlessly with all of your very being in the surety of “If God be for us, who can be against us” about EVERYTHING of this world.
10/14/22
If you asked me “do you workout”, the answer is “no”.
I don’t workout.
I haven’t stepped foot in a gym in about 10½/11 months, a day pass at a place I may never go to again (it changed owners, who got rid of it’s strongman equipment – what incentive now), haven’t had a gym membership in a year less a week and a half.
I don’t workout…anymore.
Yet, pushups are done daily, I’ve been into wrestler’s bridges and deep knee bends for weeks of daily mini sessions, and after every work shift in this no gym membership period I have swung my tree branch mace in the yard.
I’m sure the neighbors, should they turn away from their flashing television to look out the window, think I’m nuts.
I swinging a tree branch around my head with a purpose.
Regularly.
Heck, I’ve lifted some this year at the “Cold Air Barbell Club”, where I hit my first 225lb+ military press.
But I had the option to lift today, twice, and skipped it both times.
Wasn’t feeling like a lift by the time I was at home and had the time to.
Left work early hyped up to power snatch after a rinse the smell of kitchen off of me shower, then let it get dark before bothering to, and moved on.
My mental configuration is changing entirely as to “working out”.
Fuck it, done enough of that shit.
I’ll lift if I feel like it, consistently enough even, but…
DAILY PT!
mandatory.
mandatory – young dopey
That’s not an unhealthy compulsion.
I broke myself of the “I have to lift” compulsion! I’m no longer a “lifter”, a “meathead”, I’m. Just. Me.
mandatory PT – the pushups have been like this for forever and always.
I’m liking that wrestler’s bridging and deep knee bends have shifted into that outlook.
Probably long term, though I let everything be free to change aside from the mandatory pushups.
There will be a solid deep knee bend video, bare chested at least, in the snow this winter.
I’m putting some focus on it, one of the simplest of movements.
Could go get good at pullups again, heck there’s even a pullup option or three that would be simple to include on a daily running routine.
Route? Routine.
Routine.
But we don’t workout anymore. And fuck “training”. Who gives a shit?
There is only PT.
Connotations? Definitions?
We PT. We do not “workout”, and it’s no longer “training” in that lifting sense.
PT
Big biceps from all the mace swings?
Side effect of PT.
STRONG AS SHIT!
Side effect of PT.
It’d be to go box or get some mat time if I bother to pay gym dues again.
Heck, even a rock climbing gym over being a mentally unhealthy lifter (though I may join a powerlifting gym to film myself lifting – it’s a different mental approach, I’ve moved on, I’ve become free).
We’ve thrived this past year with a barbell and tree branch in the yard, pushups in the kitchen!
Two days ago I pressed 14x165lbs, a PR, and thought that the next day I would test pressing 185lbs, see if I’d be able to get it for ten reps which too would be a PR.
Eating garbage before yesterday’s pressing, the choice I made, I only hit it for eight, a PR tie.
Wouldn’t you know that I dreamt of pressing last night!
185lbs felt light as a feather, nearing the tenth rep the dream became lucid and I started using form that is beyond my flexibility levels in real life.
Realizing I had control I just kept pressing.
10 became 20, 20, became 30, at 35 I decided it was going to be all fast olympic presses with a big layback, continental pressing, actually resting the bar on my upper ribcage of all places between reps.
Big layback!
dreamt of a layback far more
I found a real strong groove, pressed while laughing about how ugly the form I was choosing to use was.
During reps 47, 48, and 49, I cleaned the form up, on rep 50 I did that silly looking pushing of the head through that some people are apt to do.
It’s a lucid dream, then like with my real life pushups I said “and for good measure”, clicked my heels together to military attention, and pressed a crisp, pretty, perfect military form rep (the bar moving around the jaw, not tilting the head back a tad) that even the strictest of 1800s british weightlifting judges would pass with a “good show” while smoking on a pipe.
Part I – I Own No Pair Of Heavy Dumbbells For Pressing :
10/10/22 ~230am
“Pressing Engagements” by John McKean – what an awesome article!
That’s an archive.org link, I’ve learned to link that way, as well as note what music/video I’ve linked in posts, but ditillo is a goldmine, and if you’re reading about lifting the site is high on the list, you should check it out.
Articles galore.
…..
I got a kick out of what he called “stacking nickels”, laughing to myself that I’ve come up with similar methodology doing hurry up singles at every 5lb jump from 135 up.
It reminded me of how heavy and full body see saw presses are.
I liked the movement for awhile, did them consistently back winter 2019/2020 – it’s ~$400 on amazon for a pair of “inexpensive” adjustable 100lb dumbbells.
Maybe a ride to a combination of the sporting goods stores and hardware stores would provide a better option.
And that’d be boots on the ground, which is better than online ordering.
I’m looking at how I could have an adjustable pair or dumbbells loadable to ~125lbs, though to 150lbs each would be better and provide a lifetime of brute strength training.
You get to just walking up to a pair of 150s on the ground, yank them to your shoulders, and press them?
You’re pro strongman strong.
Which is where you should be.
Pro strongman strong.
Expect excellence of yourself.
I bet I can press a pair of 100lb dumbbells, I just have no logistical option at present…as $65/month for dumbbells (& powerlifting, but who cares) doesn’t seem worth it.
I’ve thrived this past year doing almost naught but the barbell clean and presses OUTSIDE (in New England).
Mostly just leaving the bar loaded, heaving it to shoulders once, and pressing it a bunch of times.
I don’t vary the way much.
There is opportunity for variety even with parameters as “limited” as “barbell clean and press only”.
It certainly put on shoulders, but more striking is my upper back.
I’ve developed an upper back in 2022, to the point I view it as my best feature, and am becoming a bit obsessed with heaving, cleaning, and pressing my way to it being bigger, more defined, more impressive, stronger.
I like seeing my upper back in the mirror – el narcissismo mi tengo
…..
Today off work I expect to actually strip the bar, hit some overhead squats, press maybe more sets and/or with a lower rep range than usual, fat gripz sldl – maybe dropped a bit in weight and pushed higher in reps (was writing about higher reps in another draft in the last few hours – I’m juggling content creation on two phones, my old deactivated now wifi only one which fits my hand better for typing, and my recently purchased too high tech “smarter” than the first smartphone one which has service, a screen too large to type as well on as on the old one, and is different, maybe better, maybe worse at grabbing screenshots for images to post – #firstworldproblems
Part II – Smashing The Pushups, The Deep Knee Bends, & Getting The Jacked – High Rep Everything As Mandatory PT For You & For Me :
10/10/22 ~530am
Pushups and military press, they feed into each other – no exercise combination, or exercise alone gives me the sheer knowledge that I’ve got some pipes hanging from my torso.
What a great feeling.
Lean 19s is very possible to me.
– move the press up 100lbs, and do some combination of actually curl, do weighted pullups again, grapple consistently again (haven’t done that in over a decade), and/or very high muscular activation total gym pullups.
…..
No one, including those who’ve done so in the past, does high reps, high enough in count, heavy enough in weight, high enough in muscular activation, and with enough effort to truly get a body of type 3 fibers – to have superman muscle with superior strength and endurance.
I’ve flourished on rather high reps fitting the above description.
All would, most never attempt – a huge loss, in it is strength, conditioning, and a vigorous health.
…
I’ve been swinging my tree branch mace after every shift for nearly an entire year now.
Normally a set of 10 each side, the exact movement varied a little, but I’ve never simply taken the main variant and truly pushed the rep count into the stratosphere.
As I did 10 each side twice, double the usual after work last night – the above struck me.
I could be seeing how strong my lats, shoulders, biceps, and hands get pushing that rep count up up up.
I know it’d be freakish.
basically my ideal, though I’m 4″ taller, and come ballpark new year’s I’ll have the right length of beard for viking fitness video barechested in the snow
There is no excuse for me not to be doing sldl into the 30s, deep knee bends past 100, pushups strict past 100, the woody woodpeckers into the sky, pullups for reps (& regularly, and/or weighted again), or a lightened version like on the total gym for as many as possible/with extremely high muscular tension, be back squatting for 50s, front squatting amraps into the 30 reps area, and play with a couple other movements I’ve thought of like zercher deep knee bends and a good morning variant or two.
…
My leverages?
The most useful deadlift variant is sldl, from the toes better than from regular plate height.
I’d have this double overhand on an axle for high reps in an ideal setting.
I’d then have you partial front squat, and do some form of carry.
And I’ve come up with some interesting carry variants…
185lb yoke overhead in one hand…
barbell in front squat position as I walked, forwards, backwards, side to side, in circles, turned, even squatted, deep knee bended, staggered stance squatted (“b” squat)…
deadlift carry, doh, all around the place as described above
I’ve actually paced about the house for LENGTHS of time holding a 10lb dumbbell, a 20lb kettlebell – I’m taking ≥20:00 just to see if I could hold it that long – did it while on the phone with my uncle.
Part III – And The Evening’s Flow :
10/10/22 ~5pm
When it’s time to lift – I don’t recognize the weather outside.
Upon recalling the above I had pulled off the hoodie, barefoot and shirtless the way to be, 50° and wet is warm enough.
It had rained…while I was inside sleeping…which we all do too much of.
Hell, with track pants we’ve conceded to the weather more than necessary, however – pants, barefoot, barechested, the beard growing back, the look is going barbarian again, viking again as it is meant to be.
A thick red beard, and a buzzcut, on my strong, burly, 6′ frame – it’s all coming back.
No matter what is said, it’s easier to feel good in life when you like how you look and when you look sharp.
…..
I just pressed 14x165lbs. With this rep range I’m clearly “only building endurance” lol.
The press reps might go even higher than 15 reps tops being my up the bar weight number, as I’m also factoring in the fat gripz sldl for progression while training with the same bar weight.
The press reps may get ahead of the fat grips sldl which I mostly pull easy low rep sets of while supersetting with deep knee bends.
I just use my empty bent bar for high rep overhead squats – mentally this is easier than stripping the solid bar.
Part of why I train all lifts (other than overhead squat really) at the same bar weight, at press weight is this massive mental hurdle I have about stripping, loading, and carrying plates around.
For whatever reason, lifting outside I have this tick.
I do not have this tick on a gym floor. It’s nothing to me to grab 45s from across the building…
I didn’t film this, though it would’ve been damn funny, I took 7 plates (45s) stacked together off of a 25lb plate (the platform so as to get under the “rock”), and did a rather funny looking bear hug shuffle walk to get all the needed plates to the smith machine.
Taking plates off the leg press for the same walk may have been with 8p, a 360lb bear hug instead of 315lb bear hug.
I do have a pair of 100s, a pair of 45s, and a 25lb plate or bricks to lift off of – I could do this at home up to 290lbs, no stone trainer either.
I’ve also learned plate bowling with cheapo 45lb bumpers, and tend to be able to roll any plate pretty well in a long straight line.
“Plate bowling.” as I nod my head.
“Plate bowling? You seem skilled. Have you practiced?”
“Yes. Though with bumper plates at a different gym.”
↑ a funny gym floor interaction, a year or so ago in a galaxy far far away
I have also in the past been able to punt a rugby ball with precision to you at a distance of around 70yds.
My uncle called my bluff on that back in high school, not having learned when within 5:00 of him doubting I could squat 8×300 at under 180lbs at 15yo I did so in front of him, stopping what I was doing and showing him (I was not lifting), and too that day immediately I showed – we paced off the distance, made it be at an angle, and over the electrical wires, and I dropped the ball right into his chest/hands.
…..
Physically I felt horrible from anger in the last 48 hours, and a bit of caffeine (a large dr pepper with my around midnight dinner last night) introduced into my system far too late at night.
That’s why I lift.
It makes me feel good.
Ain’t no anger when you’ve pressed it all out of your head.
…..
Beef and broccoli every day for about three weeks, it looks like I may “only” have pork today for my meat, but I’m in enough broccoli to be good into next week at my close to mandatory daily serving of 4oz, which I get from work four days a week, and out of a rather expensive 12.5oz “organic” frozen bag at home the other three.
I’ve been learning to not stress these minor things I say I’ll do daily so much.
After 36-40 days of pressing in a row, I didn’t press for two, and then lifted again today.
I’m still banging out what is sustainable for me, while learning to be more chill about whether it truly has to be 100% mandatory daily, which pushups are – years of this being the way, which was ~9 months of squat every day on the longest streak of squat every day, etc.
So I’m not running to the grocery store for 1-2lbs ground beef, and will see instead how long the pork in the house lasts me, as again, I’m in the broccoli for the next 8 days between freezer at home and choosing it as a side every meal at work, and really meat, with fat, is meat, the differences between dead animal being minutia.
Should’ve bought it yesterday when I was at the store before work to solely get a, singular, glass bottle soda lol
Which reminds me, dang am I craving those doritos hard taco shells – maybe next week with ground beef.
I’m eating cleanish right now, regrowing my beard, smashing enough PT and lifting…come winter, new year’s to some point in February at 3-4+ months of beard – I’ll be at some video worthy stuff for presses off of a heave (10+ rep 225+ lb amrap press, off the ugliest brute strength shouldering ever, a “win the gym” # if I do say so), “mace” swings for 100s, smashing deep knee bends in the snow, maybe FINALLY get the “girl pushups” (weighted pushups via cute chick(s) as weight) on video, etc, etc, etc.
Bruno Sammartino doing it right…”girl pushups” instead of heavy benches, heavy curls, heavy lateral raises, deep knee bends, or body slamming 600+lb men
We’ll see how far into this smorgasbord of restaurant and grocery store food I’ll get.
Similar menus, ground beef and broccoli on both.
I ate half my employee comped burger, scarfed it down as leftover ground beef, mac (technically shells), and veggies (this meal being what I called half a week’s food prep) with my employee comped portion of broccoli added to it – heated up.
The leftovers alone would be a usual big meal, a day’s food in general, but today I spent ~11h in the kitchen (plus that nice hour in the sun on break), smashed my morning PT in 5:00 before work, did my mace swings after, will do another set of pushups before the day is done, in general just had a high metabolic day.
I was moving around more at work then necessary, it feels better that way – hadn’t done so in months ←this is the way to approach it.
“Waste” (ie spend well) that energy dancing around, dipping down to check the oven, playing drums with the spatula, moving in the moment, three trips into the fridge instead of one because because because because
It’s part of the wonderful thing I does!
…
I can’t wait to lift before work tommorow!
That’s a positive that I’ve got.
Got the power cleans, got the sldl, got the presses.
Wow – what I was going to say :
All the hours on my feet.
All the morning and evening PT.
All the mace swings, all the lifts, all the beef and broccoli – my torso is clearly leaner than it was two weeks back.
I don’t see it in my face yet, but the beard is going to hide that anyway!
It’s growing back!
I’m not going to mess that up.
Work was capital B, bullshit, I think they were tossing extra food in my to go container, I’ve got like three days worth of food from this one shift, – the manager even admitting that I had every right to walk, quit, cause of shit on the shift.
shit on shift
sos
Shit on a shingle is good.
Which reminds me of my Grandpa.
Bullshit at work?
I stuck.
I stuck.
I stuck!
Less than three weeks til a year there. I’m doing that to say I did.
Fuck you, I’m not quitting cause you’re a little prick. You walk out. This is my job.
I backed my car into the spot, popped the door, swung out a leg, picked up a piece of sentimental value, a piece of my first car…a bit of plastic from the interior of my Grandpa’s car – which he willed to me when he passed when I was 14.
“I swear Grandpa”, a tear in my eye as I held that piece of plastic THAT I NEVER LOST ;
(My car version of a pocket treasure.)
I’m not masturbating.
I’m not running like a bitch to, my vice of choice, porn – not being a bitch cause a dead end job showed to be dead end with a miserable kitchen fuck, a rude waiter, and (not there today, but in general) a manager with his napoleon complex or something against me.
Fuck that! I’ve got pushups to do.
Late 2021 and basically all of 2022 has been a lesson for me in the world TRYING to tell me what I am (basically a big ball of “not good enough”), and me STARING IT IN THE EYE, & Spitting…NO I’M NOT!
I was weak and watched porn.
I put myself into this situation…
And I’m growing wings. Digging? Nah, Rising like a phoenix.
I couldn’t tell you when I did mantra pushups last…before a minute ago.
60ish, mantras – power
I’m the Man I am
I know who I am, he’s not what you say, he’s what I say – he’s great!
…
Approach each day with a smile, be the one who radiates positivity, spite the negative shit around you.
Your life is your personal challenge to thrive. Smile. Pray. Take action. Live. Thrive.
Make life so eventful there’s no such thing as considered minutia.
10/5/22
Certain blood types must be more tasty to mosquitos.
Carb consumption (they all become sugar in the body) factors in as well.
I recall playing wiffleball and football in my youth, and I’d be the only kid getting bitten.
Mosquitos being the worst part of childhood in New England compared to SoCal.
must be mosquitos
(SoCal’s worst aspect? Never ending strip mall, no grass, suburban anti-culture, etc.)
Going on hikes with my uncle were almost an exercise in mental toughness due to getting eaten alive.
However, the last time or two I was with my uncle he noticed that wasn’t happening to me.
He recalled how badly they feasted upon me in the past.
Yet, it wasn’t happening now in 2022.
Now, I’m seated outside.
Barely sheltered from the rain, cringing about getting wet on my walk back to the door (unlike me, being he who sits outside regardless) – wearing a hoodie and pants, but barefoot – I had lifted, and outside yet able to still connect to the wifi (scary – it’s EVERYWHERE, but has it’s advantages too lol) I listened to some Wim Hof clips.
I brushed one mosquito off my foot, but after a few minutes of pointedly breathing…no mosquitos.
The science says Wim Hof breathing is changing the alkilinity of your blood, the oxygen coming into you, etc.
I believe in the power of belief over the body, of the power of the mind over the vessel in which it resides.
A prayer, victory pose, deep breathing, visualization, and a belief in your fundamental resiliency…you’re set.
…..
Why are you saying it’s not enough sleep?
Why are you saying it’s tiring?
What is the purpose of that cup of coffee, that “energy” drink?
You think you can’t do more, accomplish more, be busier, with far less free time, yet more energy, and far more work done.
You can accomplish.
…..
Physical energy follows mental mood more than anything.
A certain mundane, accepted/comfortable, depression is where you do the least.
Other bad headspaces make you full of fire – I got strong as shit lifting at 2am alone on a preworkout honey bun.
Genuinely happy/content (I’ve been there in life while disregarding job circumstance), and you’re at peak personality, most outgoing, most energetic, talking to the most people, sleeping the least, working out the most, savoring the food, loving the connections, etc.
…..
I feel better with myself, in my day, having worked out.
Weights as often as available, otherwise rack up the calisthenic mini sessions.
Though fairly introverted, I am a storyteller, the medieval bard transplanted into the modern day, it is in my genes – as the little kid content to play all day alone yet once around people he would talk your ear off with the experiences he had – to passionately share them!
