You’re watching daytime television, reruns from the 80s thinking about how you want to get into shape, when the scene ends and suddenly the volume increases, increases along with your ears being pierced by the voice, a voice that can only mean one thing. No it is not a used car salesman live in person but an infomercial, the one infomercial that can actually change your life :
In the salesman’s voice:
On an installment plan of only 0 easy payments of $0.00 I’m going to reveal to you the ultimate in simple and easy fitness plans.
It’s surprisingly similar to how my grandfather stayed fit, and how I do as well when I don’t have access to a gym or weights.
The system involves only 3 simple components:
1. Drop onto the floor and start doing pushups.
Pick a number that seems ridiculous to both yourself and “common sense”, quite possibly double that number, and keep going until you’ve hit that number. Try to get it done as fast as possible, but it’s fine for it to take as long as it takes.
100 reps daily is a minimum. 500 is more like it to those who care about being in shape. 1000 is doable in a day, I’ve done it, hell Paddy Doyle’s world record for pushups in a year averaged over 4000 daily.
Hit the deck to repeat your pushups tommorow and every day after.
2. Go for a walk (jump rope is an acceptable substitute) 15 minutes as a minimum, that means walk a mile or more. If you substitute your walk with the jump rope don’t be a fat ass about it.
3. Whatever else you feel like doing.Have fun here, use this part to express yourself.
Golly gee willikers Batman! That shits rocket science!
No not really. Training is not complicated. You can make do in any circumstance, even a full lack of equipment. After all you can function as your own all the time travels with you gym.
Don’t wait! Call now and I’ll even throw in our time tested mind shattering World’s Easiest Diet, commonly known to our grandfathers as eating like a man, we’ll even throw in a belt for your pants a size or two too small!
Call now.
The commercial ends.
You sit there on your recliner phone in hand. Do you decide to call now? Do you decide to wait for the show to be over, and maybe the one after that? Or do you turn off the TV , get your fat ass off the couch, and hit a quick 250 pushups, some crunches, and go for a 20 minute walk?
It’s up to you.
-J