It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been porn free. What matters is that I am. And now? Now watching porn strikes me as an inconceivable action of self harm.
How many times had I said I was done? From softcore as a 16/17 year old kid, to the first time on xvideos at 20, to saying I’d kill myself if I watched again at 21 or 22, to the last time I watched it at 25. How many times? It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that a vice, and yes porn is a vice no matter what you rationalize, what matters is that a vice is gone. KAPUT!
I knew from the gate, from the gate! That porn was a bad choice. Maybe at 16/17 I couldn’t spell out the why, and yet I instinctively knew.
Regardless of a study, or the fact that by looking down you see that you’re hard, or what someone in the medical establishment says about masturbation being good to prevent some form of cancer, you know, you know by turning on xvideos or pornhub that you’re succumbing to weakness.
There is all sorts of bad shit going on when a male, and by watching porn you’re admitting to being a weak male, not a strong man, turns on a flashing screen of projected copulating bodies.
I don’t even support watching lesbian or solo videos of a chick. I look at a coworker looking at nudes and bikini shots on Instagram and think “what the fuck, why are you bothering thirsting over chicks you’ll never meet”.
Despite my youth I’ve matured a lot. Disregarding the negatives of porn, thirsty is conduct unbecoming of a man, and the real world is where you live.
I refuse to use Tinder, or any other app/online, to get a girl. I’ve felt for years that if I can’t get the girl through honest masculinity in real life, that I don’t deserve to have that girl. It’s a contrast, I have high standards, yet am brutal on myself in real life.
Real life is where you live, work, play, and online is a dehumanizing aspect of swipe right, messaging, attempts at jollies.
Porn, this is all interrelated.
Our society has fucked up views on sex. I came up christian. I doubt my upbringing, any rebellion against it, and societies (let’s be honest) sin will ever triangulate into a common area.
Viewing porn is doing you no favors.
I have a couple disgust reflexes from early on, to where my gut knew : “never watch porn”.
- Church – Age 12- Everyone is admitting their vices, and the slimiest looking, 50 something, pale, pedophile looking weakling admitted to quote unquote “porn addiction”
- Algebra – Age 14 – This little annoying runt, and this kid, chubby, lazy, and soft who looked like the kid on two and a half men (and i always instinctively disliked) were joking about the latter’s hours a day porn habit.
- Gas Station – Age 18 – In SoCal I’m at a gas station near my grandma’s house to buy milk. In line in front of me were two slimy pale fuckers talking with the cashier about how they’re filming porn in the area. One was the cameraman, one a notable male in the industry. I thought to myself “jesus christ, they look like the sickly chronic masturbator stereotype of who watches their shit. They even sound pussy whipped.”
In all three instances I felt nothing but disgust.
When you think about it honestly and observe you see some things :
- I started to see porn images when I was not watching and wanting to jerk off/edge.
- There is a noticeable cuckold grooming effect. When you think about it, porn is watching another fuck someone you’d like to fuck. I’ve had too many young men “joke” about the prospect of me fucking their girl, guys that readily “joke” about how much porn they watch, to think anything different.
- Some scenes are pure evil. Period.
- Your vice is not even participating in a vice, your vice viewing porn is spectation of another’s vice (casual sex).
- Honest appraisal often shows the girl to be broken, damaged beyond repair, someone you wouldn’t go near, nor touch with another’s dick, nor touch with a thirty nine and a half foot pole if you came across them in your day to day.
- There’s some tom foolery going on with camera angles. They want you to find yourself inadaquete.
- You get depressively thirsty.
- I noticed I’d get pghlemy after watching.
- When you’re honest with yourself you notice you feel like a bum having viewed.
- Porn lowers your wavelength, your vibe, never lower your vibe. A high energy vibe is natural, it’s how you walk through the world properly, as intended by God.
- It’s not real life. There are girls in the real world. You, as a man, must put yourself out there. Watching flashing pixels on a screen isn’t living in reality.
- Watching porn correlates to feelings of a no future, hopeless, depression.
To quit you’ve gotta make it a descision, not a want to, not even a need, but a statement with clout “I’m done watching porn.”
Porn dampens your ability to be masculine, it hampers your masculine identity, and self improvement. Stopping allows you to grow without the poisonous vines creaping up with you and alongside you.
The more masculine you become, the less and less, you’ll be tempted by porn. Will the siren still call? Yeah, but you’ll look the tempter in the eyes, laugh at your inner weakling wanting to cave to it’s pretty little lies, and laugh knowing that YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THAT!
It’s inconceivable to me to ever watch porn again.
I’m a Man. Men don’t watch porn.
I’m confident enough to put this online stating that “I’m never watching porn again”. Self accountability, and public accountability too.
Here’s some stuff that helps me :
Weakness is bringing dishonor to your ancestors. I know Grandpa can see me, his spirit looking down at me, and thinking when I choose weakness “Gosh darn it J! You know better, you’re better than this.”
Everything you do…God knows.
Watching porn is weakness, and weakness is the most vile choice a Man can make. Men aren’t weak, males are. Weakness is a problem.
I grow a solid red beard. I prefer having a beard. In 2018 and 2019 if I watched porn I punished myself by shaving, and then again at least 24 hours after I turned off porn. I’m never shaving for porn again.
You’ve gotta be confident, and outgoing. You’re never gonna watch porn if you’ve recently taken a shot with an attractive female. Chickening out from talking to that cute girl? That’s when you may go hide in your room screen flashing fake fucking in the the dark. Have confidence. Be outgoing. There is a girl out there, where you will be mutually attracted, making porn completely irrelevant.
On the flipside as a Man there are times where you’re gonna have to be comfortable being alone.
Brother, I pray you rid yourself of that vile shit. I’m rooting for you. Root for yourself, and draw your line in the sand.
Make it happen. Best would’ve been not to start, the next best is start now, for life, porn free.
-J
Persistence & Tenacity