2/8/21 – Honesty & Disciplining Myself/Self Punishment To Change Behavior :

The Public Edition :
On 1/27/21 I was not pleased with myself for masturbating.

See while approaching the 1 year mark (10/21/20) of being porn free I had decided to quit masturbation.

1/27/21 was the 100th day without masturbating. I was shy of making the full 100 days by hours.

I said no masturbation for life.

1/27/21 was a cave, and 2/8/21 (today), 12 days later, is another.

Maybe this one is the last, having gone back on my word twice here.

I know I have amazing capacity for self discipline, so we’ll see.

I’m smiling. I expect good things.

Punishment & Self Discipline :

On the 27th I did “half a shave for half a cave”, trimming the beard.

With a short beard for a few days after, I kept thinking I needed to discipline myself, and compulsively ended up shaving fully.

Caving this second time on no masturbation for life, I’m shaving again with the same self discipline protocols I used to rid myself of porn.

Now I like having a beard.

Years ago I started shaving anytime I caved to watching porn.

Many say punishment doesn’t work, well guess what, I disagree.

I’m speaking from experience.

I caved for a couple years here and there to watching porn when I said I was through with it.

I didn’t stick to my word there like I hadn’t with what is the next, and natural, step up from no porn – zero masturbation.

However not once did I not discipline myself since March 2018 when I had that first inkling of “if you cave, you shave”.

I’ve been perfectly consistent with the self administered punishment when I’ve slipped on my own word, and done the vice.

With no masturbation naturally following no porn, my requirement of shaving has been added to it additionally.

Both ends, the next step in self betterment, and the punishment for caving off of that path are the natural steps forward.

So I’ll be clean shaven 24+ hours after the cave as that’s the protocol I’d been using with porn.

The application of punishment was how I got myself to truly quit porn.

It took time, about a year and a half, to me going “I’m never shaving for porn again”, and sticking to it.

I expect that in the future this shaving protocol will be applied to other things on my path of self improvement.

This sounds somewhat close to self torment, yet I’m smiling (it’s all perception), as I see it as simply making myself better while keeping my beard.

If I feel I have to shave because of having done something, it’s an action I must not do.

It’s my unconscious self sending direction my way.

Persistence & Tenacity

2/5/21 – Eating 8500+ Calories In 10 Hours :

2/5/21
At a little after 4pm I ate a meal, then at 10pm another.

6200+ calories between the two.

2/6/21
At 2am, quite hungry, I eat again, an 8oz brick of cheese with crackers, peanut butter, and milk.

About 2400 calories here.

6200 + 2400 = 8600

At least 8600 calories in about ten hours. I ran numbers fairly conservatively, likely eating over 9000.

9000 calories? That’s NOT impossible! Note : For me a yu-gi-oh card would’ve been more accurate.

I actually am a bit disappointed not hitting 10,000 and then with typical sports/bodybuilding stat exaggeration saying how I eat 10,000 calories just like Victor Richards did.

Victor Richards – he went on the record saying he’d eaten 10,000+ calories in a day before, THEN the magazine printed it up like it he did so daily. 10,000 Calories Daily!

All The Food :
Meal 1 – 4pm :
½lb kielbasa
1 pack ramen
½ box mozzarella sticks (yes the box as unit of measurement)
grape juice x 3-5 cups
milk x 3-5 cups

Meal 2 – 10pm :
most of a box of cereal
more milk on the side

Meal 3 – 2am (Feb 6th) :
8oz brick of cheese
crackers
peanut butter
more milk

8600+ calories, 3 meals, 10 hours.
I got a kick out of mentioning this to the dude I trained with that afternoon.

“8600? Is that normal?”

“No, 4000-6000 from two meals is, but I was particularly hungry, realized I ate three meals of at least two to three thousand calories each, and ran the numbers out of curiosity. I estimated, though I don’t think I got 9000.”

“Did you want to hit 9000?”

“No, if I purposely was trying to hit a very high calorie number I’d force feed to 10,000 so as to be able to say I ate 10,000 calories a day.”

If you aren’t growing, and want to ;
train, and try eating.

Some foods make it really easy to hit high caloric counts.

Go for those dense nutritious foods and drinks when you’re bulking.

I listed out what I ate, all three meals very easy to eat.

-J

P.S.

With a small amount of milk drank around 2pm before the 24 hour mark from starting I must have hit over 9000 calories in the 4pm to 4pm 24 hour period.

& FYI – the eating started maybe an hour after the York combos of the preceding post. Barbell work can impressively stimulate the appetite under certain circumstances, which I’ve found to be either very infrequent use, heavy legs, or heavy back and shoulder sessions (hang olys, presses, bent row, deadlifts).

February 2021 Flow – “York Combo” & Exclusively Lifting The Bar From The Floor :

You’re always going to be stronger than what you’re used to doing in training.

It would be interesting to just work a labor job for a year without lifting, and see where you are on a super total (powerlifting and weightlifting, even the pre-1972 weightlifting) at the end of it.

The right work and you’d find yourself having gained in strength.

I’m convinced any training where you make progress carries over across the board.

I’m getting better at pullups, so therefore every pull is improving.

I laughed at how easy a power snatch was outside in winter.

It’s carryover from the pullups.

The presses felt easy – because of how much time I spend inverted free balancing and against the wall in handstands.

I did a variation on what I call the “york combo”.

•floor to overhead.
•bar to upper back.
•10 squats
•bar to overhead
•lower to ground

I used a power snatch, then a heaving push jerk to get it back overhead after the squats.

You could do nothing but lifts from the floor, never using squat stands and be the strongest person you’ll ever find.

Power snatch into overhead squats.

Overhead into the york combo.

Press off of cleans.

Bent row.

Deadlift.

It doesn’t matter that leg and press work is limited by pulling strength.

It’s fine.

Get to a 405 power clean, overhead, 10 squats, back overhead, lower it nicely, and then tell me that’s not the strongest dude anywhere.

If you 20 rep overhead squat #s some are happy to 20 rep back squat?

Ditto.

A 225+ power snatch into 20 overhead squats is very possible, and with a mental reframe something likely easily done by world class weightlifters.

Probably even by a girl much smaller than you.

Just train with effort.

Everything else is minutia.

February 2021 Flow – Bones & Frame :

Not only does somatotype change, but so much more.

Recently in conversation I was described as broad shouldered.

I said it’s the muscular development, not the bone structure, saying naturally I’m medium framed, my best track events as nature intended being the 400m and 800m, but I got it in my head to put the shot, found the barbell, and force fed.

To this day I am flukey with strength-endurance and power-endurance able to take what you’d expect to be an 8rm to closer to a 50rm.

I’ve found more carry over from the higher reps, I’m able to specialize more effectively off of them as a base, and frankly I feel more real world strong being strong on high rep than on low reps.

You’d be better off going as hard and heavy as possible on sets of 15, 20, 30, 50 than on under 10 reps or under 5 rep sets.

Strong in those rep ranges I’ve seen described as “human forklift” status.

That’s why we lift. To be physically the juggernaut, capable of functioning as a forklift.

However, as I look in the mirror, and check inward I realize he’s partially right.

My frame is no longer medium, it’s more like medium-large.

Bones do grow.
Obviously.

That’s how we progress from baby to adult sized.

A muay thai fighter is going to see his shin bones thicken.

That’s wolfe’s law off the top of my head.

Why wouldn’t adult bone structure change?

It can.

Not too long ago rib cage expansions was all the rage, pullovers and the like mixed with heavy exercises figuring to stretch the rib box to allow for much more mass to be built on top of an expanded, enlarged structure.

I’ve seen the principle work.

So again why wouldn’t adult bone structure change?

It can.

I don’t intend to ever do this, but it’d be interesting to see if I could even starve myself to under 185lbs.

I remember stepping on the scale for the 171lb weight class around 167.

15 years old.

At 24 years old I left the SoCal bodybuilding gym and exploded into the 270s driving back across the country.

In a period of about a week I looked like 15lbs had been put on, mostly in my traps.

People (some being junkies) were staring at me like I was not human as I ordered big mcdonald’s dinners.

A friend from the gym here saw me in the grocery store once I got back, and went “damn, the last few months out west coast worked for you, you’re leaner and heavier”.

100lbs heavier in less than a decade.

5’10” to 6′ in that time frame.

The growth spurt I hit while wrestling my junior year of high school on under 2000 calories a day, I wonder sometimes if that robbed me of some adult height.

My grandpa told everyone that I’d be 6’3″, then I seemed to have stopped at 6′ at 19.

185 to 195 on what appears to be a caloric deficit fighting to still make 189 with the +1-4 late season weight allowances, then 195 to 215 in ten days once the season ended.

I just remember wanting to eat more, and how a handful of kids would give me their unwanted bread rolls and/or milks from the school lunch.

I grew 20lbs in 10 days on an extra bread roll a day!

lol, I’m exaggerating a bit.

Like so many have, I’ve made myself far more muscular than my teenage years would lead you to believe possible.

I find it offensive when people say good genetics or steroids.

I put in work.

I’ve always trained since I started at 14.

I force fed (the first time) as a high schooler, a time when it behooves you to, and is something most trainees never do.

On widening the shoulders : I say lots of shoulder work would do this to the bone structure beneath the muscular development.

Lots of handstand work and pullups, especially from a young age, as well as other physical outside the gym things that work shoulders well.

I’d bet boxing and rowing would do it.

And don’t forget rib cage expansion, there’s enough anecdotal evidence of it being possible to prove it in my eyes.

Even if you go the route of expanding your frame, building a massive upper body and becoming captain upper body man in the process – the legs will come along for the ride.

The human body is after all an interconnected system.

2/4/21 Flow :

Push right to the point of something being about to give, then back off, relax awhile before going back at it.

I’m backing off of pullups. Still keeping the daily streak alive I’ve done one set of five chins for a few days now, having been very pleased with how easy 5 reps feel each and every time.

It took awhile to get to this level.
It took awhile to see 20 pullups as near.

12+ years.
It takes as long as it takes.
I’m coming to know this.

It’s staggering to recall being 14 years old unable to do one chin up, and now 12 years later, as much as 90lbs heavier to easily do sets of 5 as part of a purposeful layoff.

I’m nearly at 20 pullups!

I expect 30 in the not so distant future. Video that. Put it online.

You don’t have to train all that hard.

Moderate weights. Moderate reps.
It’s fine to go this way. It’s entirely sustainable physically.

However I tend to psychologically want more.

When I’m in my normal mind states I don’t want to take days off, to rest.

I want to do more.
Modern life is too easy physically.

For general bodybuilding purposes I love dumbbell see saw pressing.

Shoulders, triceps, and abs.

When you rep the 75s all day long here planet fitness isn’t so limited.

Though I miss back squats, power cleans, and axle work.

The deadlift and bent row to a degree.

It would behoove me to work towards seated rowing the stack one armed.

That’s likely the most brute force it can get at pf.

I find some days I eat high calorie, other days consumption is hilariously low.

A pack of hot dogs, a can of baked beans, a plate of cornbread with some butter and honey, and a few glasses of milk is maybe 2500 calories.

I know how southern the above sounded.

It’s easy to maintain size in one big meal a day.

One small to medium sized meal a day drops weight fast.

Savor the food while eating slowly.
You’d be surprised just how little calories you end up taking in like that.

Often I feel the urge to go very strict with eating, a “hard cut”, chicken breast and green beans for as long as I can (I feel I could go ≤2000 calories of them for a month with a bit of butter to keep fat in) while walking 10 miles/two hours daily to see where I end up.

I would hold all my muscle, and strip the softness off/out of me.

It’s not like I’d quit training.
I’d still do pushups.
I’d be flexing.
And probably doing more leg work than present.

Intermittent fasting is incredibly easy.

As is pigging out.

It’s far more disciplined to eat multiple times throughout the day in controlled portions.

My mental approach to physicality is hilarious in how intellectual I am about stopping thinking.

Choosing not to care about some aspect others magnify gives you what to them is super powers.

I know a guy who regularly complains of wrist pain, pain I’d likely just ignore as inconsequential, while strengthening what is weak and allows for the pain.

He doesn’t do the strengthening.

His wrists continue to hurt. Mine keep getting stronger.

Just holding the sledgehammer horizontal to the floor, progressing closer and closer to the end, with the head of the hammer in both directions is a very simple, highly effective grip exercise.

I’d love for that kid to do this for his weak wrists.

He won’t.

10×10 weighted pushups has been on my mind.

It’s funny that I’m doing so well at planet fitness. I’d read so much online disparaging the place, and have proven that stuff wrong to myself.

I make it work because that’s what I have decided.

I miss barbells, but don’t give a shit.

I’ll just train like a convict with a bit more toys at pf.

It works.

I’m actually forcing myself to take a few days off from the gym.

Forcing myself to take time off.

I look better in the mirror.

I have no pity for those who can’t improve themselves, as they choose to do no better than lacklusterly ellipticaling and mundanely machining.

Give me 90 days training all of them.

They won’t be the same. His sad ass will be better than he ever has been.

I believe positive change comes right quick with the right positive outlook and action.

Persistence & Tenacity

Perspective – “The Gym Is Leisure Activity” :

The gym is leisure activity.

I have no pity for those who act like it’s impossible to be big, strong, and in shape.

The people of western countries have forgotten history.

The roman legions marched 20 miles daily, if they were past the gates of empire this was not roman cobblestone road either, and still they built a fortified encampment every night.

Maybe some homeless cover those miles, roaming around the earth like a fiend, maybe some laborers do.

But no one outside of starving dirt poor laborers in parts of the third world have ancient history levels of activity.

People rowed triremes! In the grecian era what was commonly done is deemed damn near physically impossible taking from any group of modern humans.

As a teenager I watched a short documentary on the british army’s selection of sherpa recruits.

It struck me that they were running good 5k times uphill with a pack (rock filled traditional carrying thing).

We act like 5k on the flat sucks.
They were running it at a fast pace uphill with packs at altitude!

Be physical all life in altitude amongst a laboring people and it’s gonna be all out and impressive in that army selection.

If you just think, you’ll realize that no matter what you enforce on yourself as your training… people were sent to the mines of libya to die in roman times.

libyan mines – where the slaves of rome were worked to death.

They were sent there and worked to death!

What you do to yourself at a gym in the first world isn’t hard.

The gym is leisure activity.

The Always Available Workout – Flexing & Walking :

The Charles Atlas course was no more than flexing and calisthenics.

It’s an interesting experiment ;

What if you did nothing as purposeful exercise past flexing and walking?

This is a very old school idea.
It works phenomenally, it’s just that nearly no one does it.

You don’t need a gym, and don’t shy away from physicality.

Do yard work, play a pickup game, have a physical job, just make your purposeful exercise entirely flexing and walking.

Walking is basic human locomotion.

As a human animal we are meant to cover long distances on foot.

We are meant to leisurely stroll, to shoulder weight and hump it, to carry, to ruck, to hike, to hoof it.

To trek.

It’s basic physicality.

We would all do well to walk 10 miles a day. The Roman legionaries hiked 20 daily regardless of terrain, then built camp every night. There’s a lesson here.

There’s plenty of examples of those who took flexing far.

The maxalding course can be your guideline.

The beauty of flexing is how it can be done anytime, anywhere, at any and all angles.

Flexing is the perfect logistics.

You want to improve a bodypart?
Start flexing it.

You’ll improve mind-muscle connection, and as you believe you will find yourself getting stronger and stronger.

Be influenced by all movement in choosing your flexing positions.

I find my upper body flexing is inspired by a mix of lifts, calisthenics, martial arts, and bodybuilding poses.

This would have been very useful had I done this for wrestling.

Regularly involved flexing will build a beast, a very strong and extremely lean freak.

Do so with your entire heart and soul.

Persistence & Tenacity

2/1/21 – Force Feeding Flow :

You can eat a lot of calories in america.

This is why obesity exists.

Low calorie healthy clean foods are basically impossible to eat too much of, too high calorie with.

Nutritious, but dirtier foods allow you to get in a higher number of calories.

For example :
2000 calories of frozen pizza or mozzarella sticks is so easy to put down that “not being able to eat enough” is seen as a joke.

To a degree I’ve found lower quality to be easier to eat in higher quantity.

Again look to the obese.

Certain cookies end up being something you can eat 1500+ calories of and not even notice you ate.

Like how people describe being hungry half an hour after having eaten chinese food.

Milk can be drank with every meal and go unnoticed.

This holds true for drinking calories, though it’s best to stick with milk and juice here.

I’m no longer big on saying “drink a 2 liter”, no longer suggesting soda for easy extra calories.

I don’t like how drinking high fructose corn syrup makes me feel.

I sense it slowing me down mentally and physically.

However, every obese grocery shopper looks to be drinking at least a two liter a day.

It is calories.

You know the stereotype of the scooter rider close to tipping it reaching for a soda?

I’ve actually seen that. 400lbs without locomotion had the coke at her fingertips, a half dozen two liters in the basket, the scooter starting to tip.

That woman’s cart cart just showed how easy junk food is to get down.

The one I saw was riding happily around a different aisle a minute later though. Better balance.

And when it comes to how and how much you get down some stuff is downright weird…

Stew :

I couldn’t eat enough pork or beef stew to bulk, it fills me quickly, but I can eat dessert before it (see the cookie example above), and am able to eat more stew if it’s over a pack of ramen.

Say the stew by itself is equal to 5 parts. Say the ramen is equal to 2 parts. When I mix those I end up eating 8.5 parts, able to eat 6.5 parts of stew once I’ve added the 2 parts of the ramen, but filled by 5 parts of the stew if it was stew alone.

I’ve found the same principle with chili over baked potato over ramen in three ingredients instead of two.

Go read the JM Blakley articles on bulking, you get to some weird food combinations at times, and really can always add calories in some manner.

I’ve poured heavy cream in place of milk over cereal. That’s a before dinner snack.

No meat on hand? Peanut butter and cheese melt nicely into top ramen.

You can easily slam an egg shake after any meal.

And to lose weight, the opposites :

Eggs drank before a meal with a brief period in between.

Small portions of stew alone, a few times a day instead of a huge bowl or two in the evening.

Burpees Are Better Jogging

The jogger’s face shows suffering.

For a day or two mentally I was going through it.

I held strong.

No porn.
I just fought through that urge, eventually it was phone off, set down in the kitchen overnight.

I dreamt I’d watched! Nightmares about watching porn!

Where’s the phone?
Kitchen.

I didn’t watch.

That’s why the electronic tablet of sorcerery and voodoo overnights in the kitchen.

I have those nightmares about it regularly enough to keep it there.

What do I do?
Go to the gym – burpees.
Reset!

It’s better than doing nothing.

The world may be negative – fuck it.
Burpees I go.

Put on the song that gets me, “sipping on fire” on repeat.

Let’s make the emotions hurt!

Better jogging.
That’s what burpees are.

50 5 pumps to an interval timer, a five pump burpee every :30.

I jog in place the “rest” on all even reps, with a couple extra jogging periods nearing the half way mark.

No quitting, keep going!
Finish the workout. ISYMFS

I jog in place the last 2:30 of the 25:00.

Oh yeah!

Better jogging.
250 pushups, and jogging in place more than 12:30 of the 25:00.

I end with a set of 25 pushups, jump, and a double stomach hit.

Unlike that jogger there’s no suffering on my face, though the song gets to me, and I’ve done my “jogging”.

I feel better already.
Burpees always improve the state.

Muscular stimulus, some sweat, some wind –

Burpees are better jogging.