In late June or very early July of 2012 I restarted daily pushups, something I had stopped for around six months of senior year, having done it daily from the summer before freshman year up til that point.
I was out in Cali spending the summer, 13 weeks, mostly at my friend’s house, with brief visits to my grandma’s place and my uncle’s place.
Getting out of high school, and back in Cali again I was on top of the world briefly. This was after having spent since basically the end of junior year wrestling season dead inside.
My friend, he was severely depressed, on prescription antidepressants since middle school.
I thought my presence would make a positive change to him, but what ended up happening was after a few weeks my 18yo ass was weak and fell in lockstep with the negative mood in the air there.
Depression in a guy only need be defined as male weakness.
He and his sister both were on that 4am-11am sleep schedule. But he being depressed and in that negative feedback loop sometimes would be sleeping far longer.
I remember one time his mom had come back from work, and freaked to hear he hadn’t yet stirred.
It was damn near 7pm, she thought that he’d suicided that night/day.
He’d played computer games til 6am, then crashed for 12 hours.
Low energy.
The mood in the air of that house was bad. His parents were separated and divorcing, his dad out of the house (actually dieing, desperate to see his kids before he was gone, my friends sister refusing to do so).
Initially I was amped to be in Cali.
As I said, in weakness I slipped into depression too, why? By choosing weakness and to exist running garbage days.
Off the plane I’d had little other than apple juice from the flight attendant in the preceding 24 hours.
Having forced myself to stay up over 40 hours to not be on a fucked schedule, I awoke at around 430am having went to bed at 130am.
I was amped, why wouldn’t I be?
The night before, breakfast was dinner of in n out with a strawberry shake, I was out of school, in Cali, and pumped to see my best friend.
As I said, I got down there too.
Garbage days, staying inside on an xbox 360 and netflix, living on frozen half soy meatballs from costco and tortilla chips, the only sunlight being the walk we took through the hilly suburbs around 8 at night, our schedule midday.
That summer I almost didn’t touch the beach! My uncle heard that, wouldn’t have it, and his family and I all went on my last full day in state,I have a couple of funny memories off of that.
It’s also funny to recall bringing an elitefts band with me that I consistently used for curls.
It was on one of those walks, and I still remember the spot, the parked car, the bush next to us, we two lost boys, just 18 year old kids, where I said this :
“Dude, you’re depressed, and feeling hopeless, and so am I because we’re not having meaning to our lives, not having purpose, we’re not having victories, wins in our day to day. ”
“It doesn’t matter how small, but we need purpose. A small victory, a small win is just that, giving ourselves purpose. Consistently do that, create purpose, and the victories, the wins, they’ll grow.”
“Before high school started I read this challenge to do pushups or situps, just a basic calisthenic every day as a discipline challenge. How long can you go without a miss? I started that day, and only missed 3, 4, 5 nights over 3½ years, before I stopped part way into last school year.”
“I should’ve kept it up, never stopped, I suggest you start doing pushups every night before bed, or morning when you wake up, you get the point, every day you get that small victory, so you have that purpose, even if small, you have something.”
He started that night, on day 11 I did them with him, having so as to not be a hypocrite, and seeing the purpose of applying it to self been running the challenge quietly alongside him since day 1. Day 11 I revealed that.
Since that restart in June/July 2012 I’ve missed a day, one, singular.
May 13, 2016.
Next Sunday is 1500 days no misses.
I’ve stated honestly to others that I’d rather die than miss my pushups.
I’m probably going to be doing them til the day I can’t physically do so, as I’m under the ground.
Regardless I can taste 5 years without a miss, am committed to seeing that next May, and from there will reevaluate if I’m going to 10 years unbroken or if I’ve made by point.
Why do I do pushups everyday?
Why PT?
It’s a victory every single day that no one can take from me.
My friend? I haven’t seen him since late summer 2012, and haven’t had contact with him since December 2014 or January 2015.
I pray that he’s out there in Cali still doing those daily pushups, keeping that streak of wins alive. Not having surrendered to the world.
Giving himself purpose and strength.
You PT daily so as to get a victory every day, so as to never admit defeat, to never be broken by, and surrender to the world.
PT every day is a purpose.
Persistence & Tenacity