Get In Shape Easily

You’re watching daytime television, reruns from the 80s thinking about how you want to get into shape, when the scene ends and suddenly the volume increases, increases along with your ears being pierced by the voice, a voice  that can only mean one thing. No it is not a used car salesman live in person but an infomercial, the one infomercial that can actually change your life :

In the salesman’s voice:

On an installment plan of only 0 easy payments of $0.00 I’m going to reveal to you the ultimate in simple and easy fitness plans.

It’s surprisingly similar to how my grandfather stayed fit, and how I do as well when I don’t have access to a gym or weights.

The system involves only 3 simple components:

1. Drop onto the floor and start doing pushups.

Pick a number that seems ridiculous to both yourself and “common sense”, quite possibly double that number, and keep going​ until you’ve hit that number. Try to get it done as fast as possible, but it’s fine for it to take as long as it takes.

100 reps daily is a minimum. 500 is more like it to those who care about being in shape. 1000 is doable in a day, I’ve done it, hell Paddy Doyle’s world record for pushups in a year averaged over 4000 daily.

Hit the deck to repeat your pushups tommorow and every day after.

2. Go for a walk (jump rope is an acceptable substitute) 15 minutes as a minimum, that means walk a mile or more. If you substitute your walk with the jump rope don’t be a fat ass about it.

3. Whatever else you feel like doing.Have fun here, use this part to express yourself.

Golly gee willikers Batman! That shits rocket science!

No not really. Training is not complicated. You can make do in any circumstance, even a full lack of equipment. After all you can function as your own all the time travels with you gym.

Don’t wait! Call now and I’ll even throw in our time tested mind shattering World’s Easiest Diet, commonly known to our grandfathers as eating like a man, we’ll even throw in a belt for your pants a size or two too small!

Call now.

The commercial ends.

You sit there on your recliner phone in hand. Do you decide to call now? Do you decide to wait for the show to be over, and maybe the one after that? Or do you turn off the TV , get your fat ass off the couch, and hit a quick 250 pushups, some crunches, and go for a 20 minute walk?

It’s up to you.

-J

Balance In Training Programs

Most advice says your training program must be balanced.

Now I’ve said it time and again, I don’t program in the sense that most do.

I go to the gym, and lift. The question of what lift is generally answered once I get out of the locker room and onto the gym floor.

I’m going to give you a piece of advice, again:

Train however you want.

As long as you don’t get injured from it, it’s perfectly alright to throw balance in training to the wind.

Recently outside of my PT, which is at the minimal amounts, my weight room work is practically all pulling.

In the past I’d generally do full body, but lately I’ve been enjoying the hell out of Olympic lifts and back work.

Is my program balanced? No.
Am I going to get injured? Also no.

Internet lifters are likely to bag on people who specialize in certain lifts or bodyparts for example the mockery made of the young men commonly known as bench and curlers. Do most not see that in powerlifting there are bench specialists?

If you want to prioritize and specialize a certain bodypart or bodyparts even to the exclusion of “well rounded” development I say have at it.

Bodybuilding is meant to be a man’s individual expression of what his ideal body looks like. It’s an individual thing, or at least meant to be.

Now many seem to lose this feeling(or have never found it in the first place), and clique up into groups that end up looking practically identical based on whether they identify as bodybuilder,powerlifter, or whatever else.

Herd behavior. Something that solo sports are not meant to have.

Be a training maverick. Throw the “rules” out the window.

Want to bench everyday? Go ahead, despite Western rules Russian powerlifting seems to swear by it.

Like squatting? I’ve squatted everyday for 7-8 months and had the best 1rm gains in my life from it.

Deadlifting can’t be done frequently? Ha, that’s a laugh. I’ve pulled 10x in a week before and once pulled about 12 days in a row.
My mind was right, so therefore the recovery was right as well. My experience says heavy 2x a week,and speed pulls for as many extra sessions as you want.

Training is meant to be individual expression. If your true individual expression lacks balance and wants to obsessionally hit the same thing over after over, again if you can stay healthy doing it, have right at it.

Throw the rulebook into the flames and do you.

Balance is bullshit. No one ever became the greatest by practicing balance in their passion,their art.

Now what lifts shall I hit today?
I’ll find out once I’m on the gym floor.

Get it!

-J

Going To The Gym With No Headphones

While it can be great to lift to your own music, quite often we are using our headphones as a crutch.

“Hold on a minute, I need the right song”

We can be and should be able to lift to whatever music is there be it the latest of pop (even ads, and yes I’ve heard them) at your local commercial gym chain,or Snoop Doggy Who Doggy What Doggy Dog at the gym you lift at.

The radio shouldn’t matter in the least, nor should your music.

Ideal is either silence or your own music (depending upon mood), but you should be able to always lift just fine without either.

At the old commercial gym I went to I’d trained myself to lift without music and to ignore the pop radio.

I’ve fallen out of this habit over the past year.

Lately I’ve been allowing my music to distract me . Picking the song, waiting for the right moment to go, fumbling with the wire (an issue in olys+deadlifts and weighted dips/chins)

The main use of headphones often is to simply get in the way.

Get used to no or non-ideal music.

Having our own is often a training​ crutch just like any of the supportive gear we use (wraps,straps, belts,etc). It’s entirely possible to not need them (music or the aforementioned) one iota and still get it just fine.

Get your mind right and just lift.

You know that somewhere out there a dude is getting jacked in far less comfortable circumstance than you without access to a boom box or ipod, or often even equipment.

Don’t be so obsessed with your gym music​. Focus on the work.

I’m not sure how long I’m going to hold myself to this, but for at least the monrh of June I will not bring my iPod (or mp3 player) to the gym.

There’s a month challenge right there. No bringing music to the gym. (I’m still allowing myself to switch the boom box there from Kendrick Lamar back to Rob Zombie, lol. We can’t be listening to that skinny jean hip hop shit,but really even that doesn’t matter)

IPod and mp3 player will stay home.

-J

A Weighted Dips+ Chins Performance Metric Plus A Split Idea

Over the years I’ve always loved to say “if I weighed x pounds I could​ still do dips”

Back in high school I came up with the idea to always be able to dip 300lbs or more as a combination of my bodyweight and weight added.

Over the years this came to include 300lb pullups as well.

It’s not that I intend to get sloppy fat and actually put this to use, but it is fun to be able to say.

I tested low rep weighted dips a few days ago and ended up doing 2 reps with 114lbs added.

250.8 + 114 for a total of 364.8lbs for a double. My chest is far more sore than it’s been in years, apparently I needed to reintroduce weighted dips,which I hadn’t done in a few years.

I can bench and pushup all day long but doing 6 sets of 5 or less progressively heavier sets on dips apparently wrecks me.

I also went around with my biceps sore. I was unsure of why until it hit me, I’d doubled on a neutral grip chin with 61lbs added. Roughly 310lbs x2.

I passed the metric on both chins and dips.

I also learned a lesson; I need to get on both of these exercises pronto. They’re both new stimuli due to never having prioritized them (weighted chins) and not having prioritized them in years (weighted dips). I see no downsides to pushing both movements.

I’ve been only training at the gym 2-4x weekly and switching it up to a Ken Leistner inspired split feels right right now.

A Sample Split:

A Day:

Front Squat + Deadlift back to back
Weighted Dip up to top 1-5
Weighted Chin same as dips
Bench 1×15
Light Seated Row
Curl 1×6-12
Neck Harness 1×50-100

B Day:

Olympic Lifts
Bent Row
Back Squat Singles + 1×15-30
Back Extension

C Day:

Partial Squats
Shrugs
DB or Seated 1 Arm Row
Back Extension
Neck Harness 1×50-100

This is what sounds good to me so this is what I’ll do. Obviously my aversion to strict programming means there will probably be a little variance like say dropping bent rows some days, but it’s accurate overall and similar to what I’m already doing. I’ll be using a double progression system of add reps and/or 5lbs.

This is basically how I’ve been training naturally lately, I’ll only have to make sure I do those 15-30 sets.

I do want hypertrophy work in addition to all the strength work.

I won’t be living in the gym with this and will therefore have more time and energy for multiple other pursuits.

This will also allow me to hit multiple training properties at once.

I can do this split plus everything else is need to.

Progress on all lifts and all fronts.

Boom!

-J

How To Improve Your Power Clean

To be able to power clean you first must have an understanding of what is required to successfully complete a power clean.

Requirements To Be Able To Power Clean
  • Brains-You must have the brains to grasp the bar with your hands, and realize we want the bar to our shoulders, this does not take rocket scientist level IQ, in fact a monkey is probably better off as it will not overanalyze. ( One of my high school track coaches described my form as something along the lines of retarded monkey heave, his description being fairly accurate)
  • Have hands
  • Be able to deadlift
  • Be able to jump
  • Be able to shrug
  • Have a semblance of athleticism to combine all the above

Now realize some will hit over 315 in high school. If that’s you cool, I wish you luck in college football, there’s a good chance you’re headed there.

If that isn’t you, ie you’re me or  practically everyone else keep doing them. At some point down the line you’ll have a breakthrough. For me it took about 6 years to reach a power clean worthy of a college football player.

My PRs Over The Years :

Age 16 BW: 185lbs PR: 185lbs (on a perfect stars aligned day)
Age 19 BW: 235 PR: 205lbs (consistent but not past)
Age 21 BW: 235lbs PR: 225lbs ( on a perfect stars aligned day, consistent at 205)
Age 22 BW:  250-255lbs PR: 275lbs ( owns 225, consistent 255)

Age 23? I haven’t tested yet, based on everything it’s looking to be a bigger jump than from 21 to 22, and I couldn’t be more psyched. I’ve been loving my olympic variations as of late.

Thoughts

Unless you’re on track for the Olympics and/or are not soft as shit the ugly “retard” form will suffice.

I recently witnessed a group of ~16 year olds being “taught” to power clean. I felt bad for them, they were paying for the instruction and were clearly in need of remedial level stuff inside of a gym. I doubt one could deadlift properly let alone deadlift+jump+shrug.

If you don’t have access to a coach of Pendley or Broz quality just read the description in Starting Strength and then simplify to hands on bar,deadlift to kneeish level,jump+shrug, and rack just like Jim Wendler suggests.

Rack position? Mine was always “terrible” yet I’ve never hurt my wrist from it, in fact my terrible catch has probably strengthened my wrist. I’ve personally talked with a highland games athlete who threw in college who said he was the only one on the team that caught in a proper elbows up catch.

I’d venture to guess that they like me would rather move weight than worry about piddly technical nuances. Many need to open themselves up to the “Fuck It And Heave™” method.

If you can’t catch properly don’t worry about it. Don’t get injured and six years later you’ll gain the flexibility overnight. Not that you’ll catch like that even now that you can.

(Proof Of Overnight Ability To Get Proper Rack Position)

Though I can now do it I still prefer the ugly method as it lines me up for the jerk better.

Hook grip? If it floats your boat. I used only overhand until one day at 22 I again gained the ability to hook grip comfortably overnight. (This was before the proper rack though)

I alternate between the two grips based on what feels better that day.

I think I’m usually stronger with overhand, which leads to retard strength like the old continental lifters had, but I’d say hook grip gives me a more “efficient” method( ie arms out of equation,hip popping properly), which normally isn’t the stronger of the two.

Hook grip for consolidating a poundage , overhand to really own the retard old school strength. Grip and rip baby.

Power cleans are not complicated.

It is bar to shoulders, nothing more.

Want to power clean? Then get to it! Fuck the naysayers and the overcomplication they’d make of it for you.

Don’t get injured, but do get strong.

-J

High Reps,Ultra High Reps,and Timed Sets

While common gym advice tends to advise never going past 15 reps a set there can in fact be tremendous value in pushing the reps far higher.

Depending on the actual load,rep range, and movement used there are multiple benefits to be gained.

Doing a set or two of 50+ reps in a small isolation exercise (think leg curls,bicep curls,or tricep pushdowns) is a tremendous manner in which to flood a sore muscle or achy joint with blood, while having the nice side effect of bringing up the size of the body part in question.

On the other side of the coin there is 20,30, and 50 rep sets of squats.

These death sets, or widowmakers as they are often called are a fantastic way to not only GET BIG, but also the gym’s most challenging work to be done. They require significant mental toughness and drive and with proper load will have all around you including yourself questioning your sanity.

Similar but different to the squat death sets are using the same protocols on the leg press.

The biggest difference between the two is the effort involved. A squat death set wrecks you physically and emotionally. A leg press death set is fairly easy to recover from.

With the squats I prefer a rep goal, with leg press due to the easiness physically I prefer to set a timer.

Do not underestimate how long 60 or 120 seconds is.

Assuming the effort not being shit, one of the least brain involved ways to bulk your legs is to do 5 minute sets on the leg press.

Don’t be afraid to do lifts for higher reps than is normally suggested.

Don’t be retarded about it and you should be good to do high rep deadlifts, power cleans, or even jerks.

Calisthenics are great for these ultra high rep ranges and timed sets.

I’ve done sets of 50+ dips when I didn’t have access to weights.

Pushups I’ve done to ranges frankly most wouldn’t believe, that sadly I don’t have on video. Sets of 100, times sets, sets to total failure, sets with unlimited rest in downward dog, you name it, I’ve done it.

My calves have always been a strong body part and I’ve always just done standing bodyweight calf raises often up to 100 reps a set.

Static holds like horse stance qualify under timed sets and build a hard to quantify immovable planted strength.

Isometrics fall under this category as well and are a great protocol that is sadly overlooked by practically all.

Don’t be afraid to train in more esoteric manners. In the gym the are no rules, there is only what works for you, and what doesn’t. Experiment. Grow.

-J

Cold + Useable aka Functional Strength

Here’s somewhere that my mindset significantly varies from most gym goers:

A lift done no warmups at 80 or 90% of max or even more, maybe done outdoors with out the best footing is far more useful than a true max in the gym with nice plates, perfect footing, and a pristine Olympic bar.

Power cleaning 225 in running shoes outdoors in 30 degree temperatures on frozen dirt with no warmups is a better lift than 275 with an Olympic bar at the gym on the platform with every circumstance in your favor.

The latter is pristine. The former useable on demand, functional strength.

This is similar to my thoughts behind hitting the bag bare knuckle.

Like you get to say “Excuse me, will you wait a moment, I need to put on my gloves to hit you” Ha!

The majority of gym goers have this obsession with always warming up, and needing to follow splits.

It fucking hilarious. It’s like almost none have ever played a sport, or held any job involving manual labor.

The gym is the ONLY place people obsess over this shit.

You want to know what perfect form is?

It’s whatever finishes the task at hand. If you’re in a powerlifting meet obviously use legal form, but otherwise it’s open fucking season, have at it.

One time a storm brought down a tree in my neighbor’s yard. My buddy and I were helping him clear it. He chainsawed it, and we brought it over to his truck. He was cutting BIG pieces ~300 lbs. We picked it up and dropped it a few steps later, “Too big” he asked, the 70 yards it had to move looked far at this point. I thought for a second and flipped it like a tractor tire. Boom, easy. The job was far quicker cutting + flipping vs cutting + carrying.Flipping those pieces happened to be perfect form.

Gym goers need to get out of the common gym mindset. They need to get uglier, this is where the functional strength lies.

Both test the ability of, and train for strength in non-ideal circumstances.

How close to your deadlift max could you pull cold? 70%, 80%,90%, 95%+?

Same for your power clean.

What about tired, sore, and/or hungry?

What can you do with a giant sandbag or a heavy rock?

Get some of the ability that a strongman or a labourer has. That’s where functional strength lies.

Chrome and fern land (Brooks Kubick term) overall is rather faggy. Don’t get caught in it’s weak mindset. Get rugged, that’s what functional strength is.

-J

 

Fuck Your Program

Frankly I’d rather not lift than have my entire program written out for me by others. Give me a program, tell me I have to use it or skip the gym, and I’ll stay home and start doing 500 pushup and Hindu squats daily instead.

I know I know I’ve written about 531 in the past week, but I’ll tell you this: shit came up, and I had to modify what I do.

Without looking every set at the next ones weight I don’t use the “correct” numbers.

For example while military pressing by using jumps that felt right I missed one of the 6 sets, the 5th set ended up being my final set.

I was supposed to deadlift, but I like using fat bars , so I did. However it felt like shit, I did the warm ups and stopped, I’d rather enjoy some assistance work than hate a relatively light main movement.

Frankly we all do best at things we enjoy, particularly when it is something we love. I love training, but hate pre-written programs.

I’ve made my best gains in the past almost always just programming myself by feel.

If I was to follow the programming I’m supposed to do one set of 5+ with a weight I can hit for more than 10 and more than 5×5. While I can progress like this, I mentally need more sets. Doing one easy set feels too goddamn lazy.

It all comes to the mental effort, how hard you are willing to go. I go with far more intensity when I’m doing my own thing.

So after a botched week of programming instead of being the guy that always checks his phone or notebook for his next set, I’ll be auto regulating again while making sure I’m getting stronger.

Some 531 principles shall stay in. I’m clicking with the lower frequency of gym visits right now. But the prescribed numbers and sets? Nah, fuck that.

Fuck Programs, Have Fun, Get Strong!

-J

Is Soreness Necessary?

As I sit here 48 hours after lunging a quarter mile, I feel as if I am physically an old man.( The decrepit physically useless stereotype of one that is pushed by society)

I’m walking with a wobble. Both standing up, and sitting down are a challenge, and I can’t help but think that this is the “leg day soreness” that so many complain about.

Now is training to this level of soreness necessary, or even beneficial?

On the former, it is not. Physically doing a moderate amount and training with frequency is far more useful overall. On the latter note, this is more grey, less black and white.

Is training to the point of being unable to function beneficial in the physical sense? To this, it is not. From a survival perspective is is not as well, being physically incapacitated, unable to move, etc has never helped in a fight or flight scenario.

There is however a manner in which this gut check style of training is useful.

Mental Toughness + Discipline.

There is great benefit to knowing what you are capable of, and having the ability to push through pain/challenge/doubts etc. That’s why it’s called a gut check. You find out if you do in fact have the guts.

The benefit of doing ridiculous looking sessions lies entirely in the mental.

Now I would not advocate training like this all the time, the physical adversity it causes is not worth it, but at a minimum this style of training needs to be done at least every couple of months. Doing two in one week I’ll admit is fairly insane, but hey if you want to have at it.

Those like me who hate taking days off will actually be ok with doing so after such sessions.

Back to the point. Soreness is not necessary, but occasional gut check workouts are. Depending on what exact parameters you use the gut check may leave days of soreness or very little at all.

A lot of gym movements I have very high work capacity on, it may be related to the metabolic cost of certain movements. Leg press insanity doesn’t stick with me, nor does squatting insanity, but these are just up down. I think it was the adding of another dimension that made the lunging so rough in DOMS. I’ve done 500+ rep leg sessions before, the volume isn’t what caused the issue.

It was the volume, the “weirdness” of the movement( same reason burpees suck), and the low amount of breaks combined. I’ve comfortably done lunges for 1 or 2 sets of 100-120 yards no problem, and assume that if I had taken an hour instead of sub-20 minutes to finish the lunging I’d probably not be sore right now, or if I was it would be the primed style that makes me even stronger.

I believe in volume, I believe in high work capacity, but I also say minimize the soreness. Keeping the reps crisp, doing them all the time, and stopping once you feel the pop is about to leave really seems to be the best manner overall to train. I’m never really married to a certain number of sets, I may be intending to do a heavy 3×3, but either only do 2 because of the issues with “pop”, or I may end up doing 12 sets, or extending it to sets of 5 as the “pop” was there that day.

If you are unable to train the same movement within 48 hours you did too much in some capacity. Now I want to make sure I clarify that due to adaption over time the thresholds of what you can handle vs what you can not should raise significantly.

You don’t want to be the person who never adapts, or adapts to exactly the stimulus they use and never progresses. Don’t be the guy who benches up to 225 daily but hasn’t progressed his bench since 17.

I’m simply noticing now that the people with the highest levels of brute strength seem to rarely grind reps. Not doing it frequently doesn’t mean they can’t however. I also notice that the powerlifters don’t seem to get sore like the bodybuilders. I’ve also noticed if you take 2 guys same build, but one who does “bodybuilding” the other powerlifting, it is the powerlifter who is stronger, far more athletic, and seems to appear more rugged ie density of muscle. Size comes down to calorie intake.

And maybe that in itself is why I am sore right now. Maybe if my calories were at ~8k yesterday and today I’d feel fresh as can be.

Lots of food and lots of rest can allow for crazy training, but you have to scale the variable together.

Basically try to keep from getting sore. It’ll just put you out of commission for lengths of time. Occasionally doing something crazy is necessary for the mental aspect, but moderate intensity pushed to just shy of that threshold is ideal. That level can be done all the time, and that is where the best gains lie.

Get Strong!

-J

 

 

 

1/4 Mile of Lunges

Well I was tired and sore when I awoke today. I didn’t want to do much of anything, but as I got up, I got more and more into it, I realized TODAY is the last day of lunges, and that I had to do the 1/4 walking lunge challenge.

1/4 mile, lunge, lunges, walking,
On the 5th I said I may have to, that’s enough of a requirement for me.

It was moderately raining, I hopped in my car and drove to the high school’s track. I was getting this shit (the lunges), and the pullup test done. With this gut check workout today to cap off and officially end this month’s physical challenges.

First up was pullups. While a few days ago I was psyched to hit ten with a neutral grip at the gym, today’s testing was done outdoors in low to mid 40 degrees, and some rain. I tested overhand with a thumbless grip. I got 10 reps, and I did 2 more sets of 5 to hit the 20 for the day requirement. Not bad for 250-255lbs, I’ll keep moving this up still though.

Then the fun part. I walk over to the track, sit on a bench and set up a long playlist. Various rap to start and ending with Manowar. I figure gangster rap then Viking metal would be the best music to get this done to.

I walk to the starting line. Start the stopwatch app on my Ipod. Go.

50 yards is nothing. At 75 it starts getting harder, I shake out a leg mid step. At the end of the 100m I pause, plant the foot, and breath. Look around and wonder what the fuck am I doing. Look at the time, so far not bad, on pace to finish in roughly 15 minutes, which I felt would be a decent time. That thought could have been the jinx.

I start again, and now its a pause every couple of reps. Goddamn it! I’m only at 150m. Plant the foot, shake the opposite leg, get to 200m with this plant and shake method.

Check the time. FUCK! now barely on pace to finish sub 18 minutes (20 minutes was my take my time, bare minimum or should I say maximum allotted time.

Lunge, lunge, pause shake, start breathing a little heavier, hock a lugie into the grass. My saliva in my mouth is getting wicked phlegmy .  I’m now spitting every 2 or so plant and shake pauses.

300m corner. Dread, a longer pause.

At probably 320m a LONG pause, at this point I’m thinking about everything, when I notice a Jeep stop, a girl get out, and start walking directly towards me. Huh, do I know her? What the fuck is she walking towards the fence for? My brain isn’t comprehending anything correctly at this point sans where is the 400m mark. This was probably my longest pause, I’m standing there looking odd, my left foot planted, thinking do I walk over talk to her and fuck up my location of planted foot, is she about to say something? We both stare at the other for a while, eventually I think oh yeah lunges and continue.

340m in,  so close. No more pauses I think to myself.

I pause at 350m or 360m, and switch from rap to Manowar.

Grind that last 40-50m out. 20m out I’m thinking that I’m gonna scare the shit out of that father and 10 year old on the track by doing a LOUD Ric Flair Whoo.

WHOO!

Past the line, continue for a few more per leg, stop, breathe. Oh yeah the timer, fumble in my pocket. Hit pause, and think I accidentally reset it.

I must’ve been sub-20, I couldn’t have ground out the 1/4 mile/ 400m lunge challenge, and failed the time to not be embarrassing mark.

I look……

400m, 1/4 mile, 440 yard, lunge, lunges, walking, challenge, WOD
18:56.31 Sub 20 minutes!      1 LONG ASS LAP !

Semi-stumble to my car, drink some heavenly water.

Euphoric, ecstatic. I did it. April’s challenge complete, and the 2nd gut check of the week in the bag!

-J

P.S. The chick most likely was playing Pokemon Go.  I realized this only after I had finished, and no I didn’t do the absurdly loud whoo immediately after crossing the finish line. I only did a moderate one a bit later. Sometimes the challenge makes you forget the celebration. Good times.

Oh yeah, I have no clue how many lunges it took to complete. Some may track such things, but not I. I highly suggest trying this challenge sometime. Start with 100 yards and then get crazy.