Gym Rituals + Shenanigans
It’s laughable to go to any gym and observe the shenanigans and rituals going on everywhere.
You have the people near the entrance and in the locker room practically snorting their preworkouts. By the water fountain and bathroom sinks you have the people obsessing over their choices of protein powders, and from time to time you get to see the stereotype (thanks Planet Fitness) of the big guy (or even not big guy) carrying around a jug of ominous yellow liquid (comes in red also, most likely BCAAs) in it’s natural habitat…. The gym floor.
(Update : I had to link it, can’t believe I didn’t last year.)
You’ll see elaborate warm up rituals that to your best judgement seem to be part of some long lost and possibly failed mating ritual (foam rolling 20+ minutes, entirely on the ass and hips), or such pleasantries as the gangly fucker walking so slowly on the treadmill texting that a snail would hold it’s own in a race with said gangly fucker.
I’m getting aside from the topic, I can rant about the rest another time.
Today we will focus on the first mentioned:
The methheads dudes using preworkouts.
Dependence On Pre-Workouts
I’ve noticed among the male under 30 crowd that 90% seem to be unable to lift without their preworkout substances in them.
It’s absolutely laughable, completely psychological, and from time to time it seems that they are close to O.D.ing.
The tolerances they’ve developed to their preworkout of choice is often somewhat scary. Doses are routinely doubled and often enough tripled.
It’s a shit ton of stimulants in the system.
I highly doubt that it’s good for you to artificially get UP that much, and that frequently. You should not need that much to get amped.
Getting Amped Naturally
Getting amped can be done mentally. Thoughts, focused breathing, they’ll both work. We can release the chemicals to get amped through more natural ways.
Fuming and pacing should be able to do it for you. Getting into the music playing ie headbanging to metal, or even singing along can work. A fun one is deciding to put on a show for the cute chick staring at you (whether she is or not), or to prove some shithead wrong (whether shit head actually thinks you can’t do it is irrelevant, it helps if shithead is a goof, or someone you actually don’t like though the shithead doesn’t even need to be a shithead, it can be entirely a mental construct of yours).
If you really need a stimulant in you a cup or two of coffee should be enough to do it. I am not saying to drink a gallon of coffee. Milk maybe, I love that shit, but not coffee.
Preworkout Stories:
- Of the few times I’ve used a preworkout (1/2 dose) I ALWAYS PR on front squats. My sessions using them involve:
- Shit my brains out.
- Proceed to squat rack.
- Turn into a squirrel.
- Re-swallow lung, and wonder what that feeling is. It worries me, but I can never place it.
- Sweat balls just thinking of lifting
- Hit at most 3 warm up singles. (Note: always wear cotton, synthetic allows bar to slip even more than soaked cotton. Heed my warning.)
- (Optional) Pull a “Not now chief I’m in the fucking zone”
- PR
- Sit down because even breathing too hard may cause death, I am that amped, and sweating that much.
- Once to mock my buddy I asked him when he intended to start using meth preworkout. He didn’t find it funny, but that was probably because after having taken roughly 6 servings that day he was puking his brains out roadside on our way back from the gym.
I’m not kidding. He’d routinely triple the dose. That particular day we did a double session, and in the morning he took 2 or 2 1/2 servings while in the afternoon he took 3 1/2 servings because he “needed” it to be able to lift again. I could only laugh seeing this. In fact getting him to use the Prowler as a finisher may have been evil, unintentional, but still evil.
That shits not healthy, and while my buddy is an outlier on one side of the spectrum with me on the other (I drink maybe 12 cups of coffee a year), most young guys fall far closer to him than I.
It’s All In Your Head
The need for preworkout is not real,you can lift with out it, it’s just a mental want.
Everything it does for you can be done without it.
Overpriced stimulant powder that tastes like ass (oddly tasty in a way that you don’t want to admit cotton candy flavored ass) is not necessary to a good session.
Get your head right. Don’t allow your preworkout to become a training crutch.
Kill It!
-J