It’s a blessing that the sportsball on the television has no draw to me.
At the restaurant last night my mom asked me “what are you thinking”, my reply being “I’m noticing that the television to my right, a celtics game about to start – which is a big deal to many here, has zero draw to me.
I guess you could argue that porn has something of a siren song to me, but that definitely comes and goes, and like anything that falls under the category of addictive behavior – the intensity of that call ranges from silent/muted to blaring based on other life factors.
I’m a week clean.
My beard is regrowing.
I look back, having been clean the entire calendar years of 2020 and 2021, and know that I will do better.
I am referring to not watching porn as time clean. There’s a reason for this.
Viewing porn had been my addictive vice behavior, even though I have many times over the past 8-11 years gone lengths without regularly.
Is it really a problem if you go 10-30 days, often months, multiple years, without it just about every time you use?
My answer is yes, and my answer, to me, is what matters.
…..
Okay, this struck me on the moving job the day before yesterday :
While I was about to walk a box across the ramps set on front landing to the front door to the side door of the truck, a son of the customer (either age 4 or 6 – I presume the elder) leaped from a frozen garden bed, a broad jump of greater than his height I would say, and seemingly while in motion of that jump, ducked into a position of torso bent at the waist, a parallel to the ground battlefield crouch, and landed under the ramps without wipeout.
Ducking as he jumped it was an impressive display of athleticism.
The kids, though young, but based on their possessions did play organized hockey, we packed a bunch of bauer helmets and maybe a dozen sticks – it simply was striking to me as they ran around, gymnastically, that it was an example of how humans are supposed to be capable of moving.
They too had a little photo collage of all four doing mountain climbers, dad and sons doing lunges, all the neighborhood kids playing soccer in the street/driveway, etc – a little made by moms commemorative of apparently neighborhood soccer/hockey/basic fitness fun exercise involving kids and some parents.
I thought it cool.
…..
I keep thinking lately, that though strong…I have achieved “muscle bound” being incredibly stiff both upon waking, and in general on days off, plus noticing the customer’s kids were running around like ninjas, coworkers who live an unhealthy lifestyle being highly physical, thinking as I ran up the ramp into the truck “my wind isn’t at the right level”, a thought to myself that if I was to go to bjj I’d have to wrestle greco with how I feel right now, thinking indoor rock climbing or playground simulation while wishing my pullup ability was where it was at in summer 2021 as I partially climbed warehouse scaffolding as access to materials for the truck was blocked otherwise (send the biggest guy to monkey around lol), just in general thinking…
A fit lanky human is more all around than big and muscular!
I have zero issue going outside, cleaning & pressing.
I have zero issue sitting outside for hours.
I have zero issue doing my daily pushups.
What I should be doing is running, jumping, grappling, climbing, swimming – MOVING!
I do this, and many going to gyms do this too – the entirety of physicality becomes a stiff lifting or stationary cardio activity, while nothing is fluid, primal, loose, free, or flowing.
…..
I’ve felt very relaxed, having both a high sense of well being and hope for an unknown future – often thinking these past few days “right now is temporary – a man can thrive starting at any point”
It’s not a bad place to be.
It could be “honeymoon phase ” with a new job, but I expect it to hold.
I’ve worked this job, at this company, with the same management before.
I know their drama.
I don’t see anything there bugging me, after all – I’m paid to go up and down stairs with odd objects.
Overall it’s good for you to do this.
…..
No lift today, though I did a set of hammer curls, 35 reps with a pair of 10s before cooking today’s dinner.
Pullup ability would be real good to get back to.
It may be time to build a bar for the yard.
One at 8′ for weighted pullups, another one at hip/waist height for recline rows.
…..
Lunch -a combination of leftovers
Dinner – leftover steak, cut into strips, reheated in pan with peppers & onion
Okay, I was almost real lazy about chopping up an onion.
Realized how chickenshit lazy that was when I found fried onion chunks like you’d put on a casserole, so chopped the onion anyway.
And added those additionally while plating.
Over a year of line cooking and food prep, and I’m both a better cook, and enjoy cooking for myself/people I know far more than I had before.
It’s a joy to prepare a healthy, nutritious meal, and it’s sheer laziness that keeps americans from eating well at home.
The philly cheesesteak’s filling is basically what I made, and is perfect nutrition – frozen peppers in the pan with butter, chop up leftover steak into strips, with that in the pan, dice (ish) an onion, that about done – three eggs into the pan, those fried, melt cheese into the mix.
Took maybe ten minutes.
Okay google what cheese comes on a philly cheesesteak?
Result : american, provolone, or cheez whiz
Time to eat. I had a slice of american in there, but finishing that off it was mexican mix to bulk up the amount of cheese in the pan.
…..
Okay, back now, but I didn’t eat without using my phone.
Surfing the web while eating is a bad habit, one I do at just about every meal at home, ie when I sit at the table alone.
……
I feel like I’ve ate too much, and that’s at really with only a moderate amount as listed above plus a few oreos.
…..
Approaching 30 am I going to be much leaner than my longer than a decade at burly from 17 to present?
…..
A man can rise to the greatest heights from any time, from any starting point.
Remember that.
Persistence & Tenacity