I emotionally tormented myself by listening to “sippin on fire” on repeat while hitting 5 pump burpees.
I was a little hard on myself with the self talk.
“I’d rather die than stop the workout shy of 50 reps.”
As “I” didn’t feel like doing the burpees or the following pushups (the only time I’ve felt like that about pushups in a long while).
“I’m not stopping the song regardless. I’ll deal with the emotions.”
I knew this would be the more challenging part.
Songs can have strong emotional effects on and connotations to you.
“Sipping on fire” brings me to 20/21 years old, west coast, extremely lonely, sad, and yet hopeful.
Getting those emotions in me, during this corona shit, was “perfect I need this, attempting to break myself emotionally – I’ll strengthen”.
I was borderline tearing up, was singing under my breath, feeling the feeling of being alone parked at a late night vegas red light…the streetlight there, the sidewalk empty, no cars around, still 5-10 minutes out from my apartment.
One thing I know is emotional pain strengthens you. This is as long as you don’t try to hide from it with some negative addictive behavior.
That’s the difference between me and many of my age group. I never smoked up or drank, and have ridden myself of porn. I always wanted to feel fully, and was honest with myself that I was using porn to hide from painful emotions.
Hiding from painful emotions is what people do with negative addictions/habits, that’s what vices do they attempt to distract from reality, hide the pain.
I made myself borderline cry from the emotions inflicted while doing easy pace burpees.
25 reps in I allowed myself a physical rest, but not from the emotional music. This had me get back to it more quickly.
Finished with the burpees, having got through the musical (the more difficult part), I switched tones, to manowar and a folk song.
And you know what came from the whole thing?
After first emotional pain, then music full of hope?
Charisma boost.
Charisma comes strongly after a whole lot of emotional pain, when you then choose to be on top of the world, when you choose to never self harm.
This happens on both a short term and long term scale.